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-   Checkpoints and Borders Policy Debate (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/checkpoints-borders-policy-debate-687/)
-   -   Funniest Line from a TSA Agent (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/checkpoints-borders-policy-debate/1381889-funniest-line-tsa-agent.html)

cottonmather0 Mar 14, 2013 2:25 am

" I served in Vietnam so people like you can have the freedom to get patdowns."

I don't think he was trying to be funny.

Andy Big Bear Mar 14, 2013 9:23 am


Originally Posted by Wally Bird (Post 20414273)
Complain to whom? TSA is not going to be impressed by DYKWIAs (or anyone else apparently); your airline(s) is not going to pressure the TSA, now or at any future time.

Deal with it.

I do deal with it for a quarter million miles a year, thank you. You sound like a cynic, whereas I'm a successful activist. We have elected officials and the ACLU, who I used to work for, so that's a start of whom to complain to. What I'm suggesting is that if FF add their voices together, and put that into organized action, the sum of those voices would be greater than the whole. My guess is being a cynic, that doesn't occur to you.

chollie Mar 14, 2013 10:07 am


Originally Posted by Darkumbra (Post 20412028)
Nope. Unless beards count.

Simple rule. No joking in security. Not for the PAX and certainly not for the agents of the state.

What would happen to me. If I replied to his attempt at humour 'here's a likely suspect!" with, "nope, not today. I left the bomb at home today!"

+1000

I think most flyers at the checkpoint are infrequent or first-time flyers who don't really know or understand TSA - certainly not enough to realize that the wrong joke can land them in a world of trouble all out of proportion to the joke.

Right or wrong, the TSA has established a zero-tolerance, 'no jokes allowed' policy at the checkpoint. When a TSO strays from that rule and slips into 'questionable' territory, that behavior can be misleading - not only to the pax he is addressing, but to other pax at the checkpoint or people the pax may talk to later.

Think what might happen to a pax who has a TSO joke with him in what would be a normal manner anywhere else in the country (good joke, bad joke, doesn't matter) - think what happens if the next time that pax flies, he initiates a similar foolish exchange to the wrong TSO, someone with a chip on his shoulder.

Wally Bird Mar 14, 2013 12:52 pm


Originally Posted by Andy Big Bear (Post 20418355)
I do deal with it for a quarter million miles a year, thank you. You sound like a cynic, whereas I'm a successful activist. We have elected officials and the ACLU, who I used to work for, so that's a start of whom to complain to. What I'm suggesting is that if FF add their voices together, and put that into organized action, the sum of those voices would be greater than the whole. My guess is being a cynic, that doesn't occur to you.

Cynic or realist? Maybe you could educate me by listing your successes with the ACLU, elected representatives or the TSA itself which have resulted in changes at airport checkpoints. Yes, you can complain to the above and even to the TSA (when the site is up), but you won't accomplish much if anything.

There have been a couple of attempts here to put together an FF activists' site but nothing came of them AFAIK. The TSA reacts downward not upward and passengers are way down at the bottom. However many of them "get together"; and I suspect that would be a relatively small number in any case.

Spiff Mar 14, 2013 9:08 pm


Originally Posted by cottonmather0 (Post 20416998)
" I served in Vietnam so people like you can have the freedom to get patdowns."

I don't think he was trying to be funny.

"What was it like serving for Ho Chi Minh, Comrade?"

redtigeriii Mar 15, 2013 12:23 am

I had an agent tell me that there were cameras all around the checkpoint, and I shouldn't be nervous about my belongings being away from me. I laughed...

Ca77andra Mar 15, 2013 7:49 am


Originally Posted by redtigeriii (Post 20422572)
I had an agent tell me that there were cameras all around the checkpoint, and I shouldn't be nervous about my belongings being away from me. I laughed...

I was told the same thing when I was pulled over for a hand swipe because I travel with a dog (so I was told). I laughed too.....and thought to myself "so is that so you can watch the crooks steal my stuff?"

Another time I forgot to take one of those multi-tool thingies out of my purse and an inch long knife thingy. When she pulled the second item out I said "gosh, I hope I remembered to take out my gun". I was not joking as I do carry a gun sometimes. Her head popped up and she looked me straight in the eye and said "you know we're being recorded". It was a cautionary warning......not threatening in any way but I sure did shut my mouth.

gqZJzU4vusf0Z2,$d7 Mar 17, 2013 11:34 am

Most unfunny thing I've heard from a TSO @ SWF, "What do you tell a
woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told, twice."

Hadrian35 Mar 17, 2013 7:29 pm


Originally Posted by piratejo (Post 19232468)
I cleared in Anchorage recently: struck up a short conversation with a TSO while putting my bag and myself back together. (Conversation about ready to be home)


TSO: Oh, you're from Houston? I was there recently for training. Wait - "STATE YOUR NAME" (Said in total mock alarm)

Me: ::Laughing::

TSO: Yea. It's completely ridiculous, like that's going to prove anything. We don't do that up here.


Overall, that night in Anchorage was what the TSA should be striving for. Some humor, helpfulness, and common sense (ie, knowing the "Name Game" is utterly pointless) would go a long way to making them a respectable organization.

I think the boozos at CHS take that stuff to heart. It's baffling to me the brainwashing those poor souls must go through to be that thorough at CHS.

To contribute; this was said by me... i was very tired and punchy, i did not miss a beat. A TSO was barking orders at a group of bleary eyed PAX in PDX about shoes, belts, rings, etc off and having BP with ID at the ready and made some comment about doing X Y Z unless you have a "burning desire" to do A B C and I just blurt out "Are we allowed to say "Burning Desire" whilst going through the checkpoint?!?"

It made a few people's morning.

t325 Mar 17, 2013 8:57 pm

Not a TSA agent, but a UK immigration agent when entering the UK with my dad.

"How are you two related?"
"Father/son"
"I thought so, but wanted to make sure. The other day I had a man about your age (pointing at my dad) with a girl about your age (pointing at me) and I said 'Is this your daughter' and he said 'No, that's my wife!'"

Wish more TSA and other agents could have a sense of humor, it livens up the monotony of travel, especially after 8 hours on a flight.


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