There's a game people play in airports across Canada.

Every time they venture into the US, they meet the friendly customs agents, who ensure that us travelers are worthy to set foot into the United States.

Then, we play a game where stepping on a mat determines our destiny, and often the ability to make our flight, or drink that 5th scotch before leaving the maple leaf lounge.

I've been one of the lucky ones - I'm batting 1.000 in getting the "good" arrow, where going through security is business as usual. Stuff on the belt, a pause for the Air Canada employee cutting in front of you (where the pilot in the other line waits for her turn), and hopefully, no need to confirm that the wires in your bag are actually for your computer.

Countless others, on the other hand, get subjected to proving that those jeans could still be a bit skinnier, as they can fully fit their hands in the pockets. Their thong underwear, strewn about a cold, metallic desk like icing fluid covering a frosty wing.

My one simple question is: is the mat luck, or is there something else going on? Is it like the Mexican Green and Red "Pase" and "No Pase" lights that only recently changed from a 1970s stop light to something a bit more 21st century? Is there a camera noticing that I'm a tall white guy who really doesn't pose any trouble? Is it because my weight ends in an odd number?

Or is it just another game of chance we play any time we enter the United States?

I believe it's random. But then again, what do I know? I think they should throw in some game show music and have you at least spin a wheel or something.

Worst was when the agent didn't want to let me go with my parents. That took some explaining.

Well, I wouldn't say there is a good side. It's either bad or worse. Clearing in YWG customs is a snap especially with Nexus - done in 2 minutes.

Security took about 15 or 20 minutes. Even on the good side the agents struggled to process 1 bag every 5 minutes. First xray bag, than manually search bag, than swab seemingly every part of bag, than swab hands etc. I would hate to see what the bad side is like. While waiting to get through at the good side, the 5 screeners on the other side were staring at the walls.

I'm not sure if there this through at YYZ, but if they were you must have to show up 4 hours before your flight these days....

Flew out of YWG to ORD on Feb 24th... Got the good arrow, so didnt have to get the full-body massage or photo taken but the entire Westjet crew heading to Phoenix cut in front of me so the "good line" took over 40 minutes to go through.

They weren't searching anyones bags, unless they saw something funny, but the work slowdown of only letting one person through the line at a time, was slow slow slow...

The Westjet pilot laughed uncontrollably when he he apologized for the five of them cutting in front of me, and I replied... "I am just glad you guys don't fly the A380, as I'd be standing here till Tuesday!"

Here's my guess...two interconnected mats, the one where we step, hold our breath, and hope for the 'lucky' arrow - and the other, over at the skinny-jean-test line. And rather like a see-saw, if the unlucky-line-mat is 'weighted', the hold-breath-mat will send you off for your 5 scotches. But if it's unoccupied, no relaxing for you...

Just a theory, completely unsubstantiated...but that's what it looked like was happening at YOW during the 'trial' phase.

Had to check your profile to make sense of that one - you're a pretty impressive young man!

The "good" side at YYZ had no swabbing, no bag searching, nothing. Security just like the "good old days" ... Wait a minute, the "days post-9/11" (shoes off, liquids out and bagged).

I've thought about saying "no" to when an flight attendant / pilot cuts in line...

+1

Your website inspires me to buy your CD - and watch for when you perform next in Vancouver.

I think you hit the answer, there.

The whole DDR Mexican Dance Party thing is /so/ staggeringly aggravating. I need a cane to walk; by the time I have arrived in YYZ from YVR I am already so worn-out that I need the cane to /stand/. Standing in line at the chicane, and then the extended stand-in-line if I lose to DDR mat-lotto, is so profoundly disincentive to travel through YYZ.

I've certainly cut-back my air travel, and a goodly portion of that cut-back stems directly from the interminable line-standing (exacerbated by the need to attempt running to actually /catch/ my transborder flight, owing to Air Canada's inherent tight connections).

Sigh.

...and I'm a middle aged white woman. Profiling??http://www.flyertalk.com/wink.gif

I've started doing more US flights out of Buffalo - against my principles, but tired of the carry-on restrictions and security delays.

Forget DDR, fust wait till they get the Wii Balance Board in place....

The game show music is added to the broadcast the people in the break rooms are watching LOL.

I'm 1 for 2. The government should be ashamed of themselves.