evacboy

So did my first CE trip in what seems a long time. And here's the late breaking summary of what happened.

LHR T5 On Ground Experience: 2.0 out of 5
On the 767 service from LHR-ATH in the AM... got to the airport a bit early in the hope of grabbing a breakfast in the lounge. Yes, bad idea especially when you are due to depart 11:50 and it takes you a good 30 minutes to get past security but more on that, well, now.

So, BAA. I go through the 'Fast' Track queue and after having my BP scanned, work my way to the other side. The 'F'T queue is made up of about 37 people, exactly, all in the one and only open 'F'T line. Whereas, there are about 6 other normal queues open and on average, about 3 people in them.

Aside no. 1: Really BA(A). If you're going to have a 'Fast' Track product, please do your best in making it faster than the normal queue.

So, I do the sensible thing in the interest of my sanity and jump into a normal queue behind the waiting at this point 2 other passengers. But then happens what I must say could only be described as Stalin's reincarnate literally screaming at the top of his feeble lungs "Hey what do you think you're doing, you can't leave the Fast Track queue". Imagine the most puzzled look ever, as in when a 12 year old first walks into this parents going at it, on my face as I ask "Wait, are you saying I cannot leave the 'Fast' Track queue for the normal queue".

"Yes." replies the BAA dildo.

Aside no. 2: Now, tell me, how small does your penis have to be to enforce a rule, or worse yet, make a rule, that prohibits folks in the much longer at present 'Fast' Track security queue to jump into a normal security queue which has just-about a tenth of the wait time.

BA 632 LHR-ATH: 4.0 out of 5
Great crew, as usual. The one complaint I had heard about the CE service was the hard product being rubbish .... but seated in 3D on the 767, the seat was plenty roomy and with the middle seat squished and empty, had plenty of elbow space to keep my elbow. Perhaps the fuss is more about the A320 but even as a bigger lad, felt the seat was plenty roomy and comfortable for the hop over. Perhaps the only thing that might be improved is the food, which just didn't meet the quality standards I was hoping for it to meet on a CE ticket. But boy did the champagne keep flowing... yum.

Athens on-ground experience: 5.0 out of 5
Arrived at Athens and had what can only be described as a small panic attack as I saw the dreaded stairs being brought to the plane. Yikes, flashes of being stuffed like sardines in T5 buses after a long TATL hop came to mind and I was ready to feel up the bottom of the large, sweaty man next to me.

However, was I in for a shock but i saw not one, but two stairs come, one for forward and one for the rear exit, and then the sight of 4 double-length buses waiting at the bottom. And the other thing -- these are proper, wide, roomy buses, not the narrower than a Athenian alley crap we get over at T5. Oh, and did they wait to pack the buses to their absolutely maximum capacity.. nope. I'm pretty sure our bus had about half-capacity as it was swiftly bussed over to the immigrations area, which was quick, fast, efficient, and eventless.

BAA, please at the soonest send ten of your brightest stuff, you know, the ten that were earlier fired from McDonalds, to Athens for a simple observe & learn session.

So that was that.

edi-traveller

Nice report.

Point is they still convert the seats on the 767 so your 3D would be 2 inches wider than the equivalent on the A320.....however the rumour is that they will son start to convert the seats on the narrow bodies again in August.....

As far as the security dildos are concerned.....I always believe that if you give anyone any sort of power then they will abuse it.

Andriyko

This has always been my experience - only one line open for FT.
I don't think our prayers are ever going to be answered. Perhaps BAA and BA think that all we want is a special line but not the one that actually moves fast...
However, I did jupm queues on Wednesday and no one seemed to mind (perhaps they did not notice?). But I would have been veeery upset if someone told me that I could not do that. That is the whole point of FT - to move people fast thru security.

DYKWIA

Just read this after posting my rant!

It'll be all sorted in T6 - if BA even exist then.

Cheers,
Rick

OPebble

Unfortunately the LHR buses have to wend their way under the v old bits of T1, T2 & T3 which are so narrow that nothing wider than the current buses could get through.

Unlike the new shiny Athens airport.....

LostAntipod

I too had the rare pleasure of a trip in CE a few weeks ago....business travel all but dead where I work...and this report prompts me to share it too , thanks Evacboy ^

LHR T5 On Ground Experience: 1.0 out of 5
Unlike the OP, I avoided the "small penis experience" and went straight to the regular queue rather than FastTrack , at South Security.

That was the right decision, my queue was certainly shorter than the single FastTrack queue. It was also more entertaining, as I got to witness the a well-coiffed lady of the home counties lose her cool over the procedure for unloading ones baubles onto the trays and picking them up after x-ray. "What a disorganised shambles this is , most appalling, whoever thought this up ought to be ...blah blah...". I shared a joke about it with the BAA guy (remember, some of them are human !) and made the trek to the South Galleries.

And it is a trek...does anyone know if am I missing a short cut here? Left out of south x-ray, along past shops to the escalator, down , then back in the direction of south x-ray, and up two sets of escalators to the lounge. Puh-lease??

Enjoyed the lounge, not too busy, got some work done. Naturally, my flight was then gated at 4A (IIRC) so off I go for another trek to the other end of the terminal. I do wonder if there is some method to the gating madness, so that I can learn to pick the lounge closest to where my flight will end up being gated. At least the flight is on time.

Now this is why I went for a rating of 1: my pet peeve is having no priority boarding announcements for Club or Silver/Gold members. There is no excuse for this in T5. The boarding annoucement was pretty much this: " Announcement for passengers travelling to Athens on British Airways flight 640, your flight is now ready for boarding at Gate 4a" - not even a mention of passports open at the photo page etc etc. So I join the scrum, and I think to myself, I'm going to ask nicely at the gate if BA have abandoned priority boarding for passengers. And so I do ask nicely. The reply?

"Sorry sir, today we are boarding the flight by seat row numbers". Well, at least BA are polite when they lie their a$$ off. My eyes widen but I am lost for words....and then she adds "but of course you are in Club so you can board at your leisure". How considerate....I thought briefly (very briefly) about pushing my way back out of the tensa-barriers and the queue of people waiting to board, and enjoying the comfort of the gate-side seating a little longer, maybe I could catch a little bit more BBC news on the TV. And so, despite the temptation of going for a wander and demonstrating what "at my convenience" really means , I boarded the aircraft (an A320 I think, definitely not a 767).

(MEMO to BA: you asked for my opinion about improving Silver. I gave it to you. Many of us have mentioned priority boarding. You aren't listening. At least I now know what my opinion , and my business, is worth to you... )

BA 640 LHR-ATH: 4.0 out of 5
Seat 3F in that CE configuration where the E seats are kept empty. Quite comfortable, very nice and efficient cabin crew, and I did enjoy the food. Cooked brekky and all ^ Even enjoyed the B-grade movie shown on the drop-down screen... something about an action-hero cab driver rescuing some aliens from the US government (I kid you not). Nice flight thank you crew ^ THe only reason this is not a 5 is that my trip was an extortionate £720 (this was CE outbound, ET inbound) - I do appreciate I only booked a few days before the trip, but wow.


Athens on-ground experience: 5.0 out of 5
Cant fault it. No buses, no queue at security, nice clean airport.

Happy Travels,
LA

FrancisA

I don't know if you are only referring to A320s on LHR-ATH, but I did LGW-AGP last week and definitely back to collapsed seats on A-C side. [I know this has been covered elsewhere.] I was told this was due to "customer feedback". So FT does get noticed sometimes

lcyguy

Ia anyone else getting tired of this name calling( particularly on this forum) of people doing a job most of us wouldn't touch with a barge pole

G-BOAC

Not at all. Praise where praise is due for the nice staff (there are indeed some in BAA's employ) and nothing wrong with calling people dicks if they are. I've met some people with jobs I'd really rather like. I'd still class them as dicks though.