Midnightblue

Before I begin, not a moan/complaint at all! Just very curious where you guys stand on this.

Flight today in a full CE cabin from LGW to AYT, I had reserved seat 3D using my status - ok just a bronze but still! - because a) I wanted a guarantee of aisle seat and b) to be up front as possible for the best menu choice.

I boarded the flight and a couple, assigned 3F and 6C asked if I'd swap my seat for 6C so that they can sit together. That's cool, it's a holiday flight and they want to sit together. And OLCI was playing up all day yesterday (think just for LGW flights?) so they couldnt reserve free seats and they said so. No problem, I took 6C and they were happily on their way to their holiday.

Yes back of my mind, I was thinking that they should pay if they want to sit together but I get it. Ive done the same many times on ryanair etc.

But I always offer the other a better seat as etiquette, ie in this case, if I was the couple, I'd have offered a guy in 6A the seat in 3F to be further forward. They probably wouldn't have known or think 3 rows make difference and as I say, I'm not complaining. But if this was a flight where I needed a quick dash off the plane and couple asked me to swap for a seat further back the plane, I'd have hesitated (and given in no doubt!)

What are your guys thoughts on this?

By the way, the cabin crew on this euroflyer were absolutely amazing. I'll need to dig out the thank you form. The cabin crew even offered me first choice of the meal before anyone else as they said "it's the choice you'd have had in row 3" and delivered my delicious Lamb. They were excellent throughout, topped up drinks constantly and kept their smiles up. They kept thanking me for my "help earlier" moving seats and the drinks and the snacks often landed on my table in doubles 🤣 they even went down the cabin at the end of the flight offering leftover snacks to everyone in CE, not seen that before! Excellent crew to kick off the euroflyer season!

Scots_Al

Yeah I'd have probably offered the further forward seat too (or just sat apart for a couple of hours!), but if asked politely would find it difficult to get too exercised about the difference between 3D and 6F.

Koru Flyer

They probably just thought it was easier to swap with the person on the aisle. If people are polite and the swap is essentially like for like, I will pay it forward (I could get rebooked and separated and ask the same), if people assume (i.e. are seated in my seat), or rude then no way. And I will usually then respond with my no thank you line.

"No thank you, I do not want my mother to mourn over your body in case we crash, they identify bodies from the seat number you know"

I realise the above is not totally or at all true, but it usually shuts people up, and puts me in the "weird, do not talk to him bucket".

The hard one is when they have asked the crew and the crew have annoyingly okayed it, or stand their expectantly asking you to agree esp. when it is no where near like for like.

KF

PUCCI GALORE

You were a gentleman and the crew acknowledged that. Good on you!

Where I stand is a polite but definite no. I get fed up with all this. My reply in this instance would be to ask if they had asked 6F to swap with 3A? Did they refuse? - well sorry but I asked for this seat specifically. They could get as shirty as they liked but the discussion would be closed and if 3A persisted then I am afraid that he would find that he had come to the right shop.If it was one side of the aisle to another in the same row than OK - otherwise Sorry, I'm fine where I am.

Whilst we are about it why does this come under Etiquette which as far as I gather is the customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or group. This is is no code of polite behaviour in this instance as there is no customary code for swapping seats as far as I know.

seattlebruce

I think a code for life is that if you can, for very little effort/inconvenience, help someone a lot, you do it. It's not a code of obligation, but it's a code of being a nice person.

I consider moving to a like seat a few rows back to be very little effort/inconvenience. Others might feel differently.

jimlad48

Re seat swap etiquette. If you dont want to move, remember my friends rule for life - "no is a complete sentence'.

bafan

No way I would’ve moved. They could’ve paid for seats together, if they’d wanted, but chose not to….

1Aturnleft

Me neither. A polite but firm thanks but I've picked this seat is all that's called for. It's a different story if you make the offer before being asked - that would be my decision and something I've offered before on occasions. Sometimes accepted, sometimes declined but always with a thanks for offering. I see being asked by someone else to swap seats in order to accommodate their seating requirements as passive aggressive behaviour on their part. Whether thats the intention or not, this is inevitably the result. Puts me on the spot to move in order to please someone else without taking my needs or requirements into consideration. The worst offender is the one who just takes your seat without even asking then thumb gestures you to 'my seats just back there". Had that a few times and the response is always "well you'd better go and sit there then". Like you say they could have just stumped up cash or avios to secure but for whatever reason have chosen not to.

Howard Long

It depends on how much it means to you.

It's not unusual for me to shift seats if asked, but occasionally there may be a reason I might not want to.

One rare occasion I didn't was last July in F in 1A on an LH 747-800 my first commercial flight since Covid: a young couple on their honeymoon were in 1K and 2K, and 2K courteously asked me, but I did decline.

I've reflected on this both at the time and since, but for me it was a bit of good old fashioned sentimentality,: it's likely the last time I'll ever have the opportunity to fly the bird, let alone in 1A, which was my seat of choice on BA's 747s before their unexpectedly early demise.

spursdebs

I did a polite but firm no when the cc asked if I’d swap from 7a smaller club cabin to 19a on some nonsense excuse the other passenger didn’t like over the wing. I also pointed out who would take care of my 12 year old grandson who has a LD and was sitting in the aisle seat next me.She asked the 2 seats in front of me, the man tried to negotiate lots of avois and free expensive champagne but his wife told him she’s not moving from 5a for anyone which made me laugh. This was LHR to DXB flight.

csdavidson

EDI-London for work, I typically get booked into CE, whereas my wife's company will book into Y and we sometimes upgrade her. Unfortunately not always seated together, and we normally offer say 5C to move to 2C (and not 2A to 5A). Always expect them to say no though.

Sometimes a little easier to move someone for Y to CE, they never say no.

HarryHolden68

Was "told" to move by someone to allow him to sit with his girlfriend about 10-years ago flying JFK - LHR. It was not given as a request but an instruction that "You have to..." I have moved in the past and will consider all reasonable requests where the asking is being done politely. This one wasn't though. And the swap on offer on this occasion was 64K on the upper deck of a 744 down to 20E on he lower deck. The boyfriend attempted to force the issue asking the crew for support. Good for her she replied that "Mr Harry is one of our most frequent flyers and always sits in that seat.

MaxFlyer

I was sat in 64K on the UD and was asked to move twice to accommodate a large family with young kids (flight to DXB). After the second move the purser called me over and moved me to First as I had been very accommodating.

This was many years ago and I’m not sure I would do the same again.

PUCCI GALORE

Have you noticed that these swaps are often from a more favoured seat to a less favoured one? Again, I would have inquired if the person in 20E had been asked whether he would like to move to 64K? As for being told "You have to" I would ask by whose authority came his demand? Good for the crew. I had some family - albeit on the 767 EWR - LHR Day flightsome years back who were split up. The child was parked in 3A with the mother next to him and the Father sat on the other side of the cabin, There were two gentlemen sitting in Row 2 - one of whom arrived on board before the other for whatever reason. Mother tried to get them to swap until she realised that they were together. The problem arose that the Father insisted in coming to the child and stepping all over the man in 2B. After several time being bumped by the Father, he protested as the Father did not have the manners even to say Excuse me. When the man finally objected the Father snarled ( as stated by another passenger fed up with all this coming and going) "Blame BA". The man in 2D said that he was not blaming BA for his rudeness. Mother then got on her hind legs and said that if Mr 2B had swapped none of this would have been necessary. Mr 2A by now has his headset off and replied that he too was fed up with them. Father was just kicking off again when I and the Cabin Purser arrived. I shut Mr Motormouth down by ordering him back to his seat and told them all to leave 2A and B alone. That seemed to work as there was no further bother.

I totally disagree with charging for seat assignments in Premium Cabins but if you really must sit together then paying for it guarantees it.

orbitmic

My starting point is historically the OP's, and progressively, I'm edging closer to PUCCI's position. I think that any request should be 1) as polite/tentative/we'll fully understand if you don't want to as possible and 2) ensure that the seat swap aims to propose a seat which is equal or better to the passenger at least according to most people's conceptions (typically, emergency exits and bulkheads tend to attract a premium as do seats closer to the front. Before someone tells me "well, everyone have their own preference", you can trust airline ancillary guys to do the maths and they charge different prices for different seats for a reason). But also, I find the swap suggestions become increasingly frequent and increasingly forceful, and bank on the fact that people do not like to say no and it is not fair. So increasingly, I'm becoming a nay sayer unless I find the people's approach genuinely nice (not just "not obnoxious"), their case strong (I'm far more likely to say yes to someone separated from a kid than two work colleagues) and I actually, genuinely don't mind.

I will now always say no if I find the approach aggressive (I notably hate it when I see people sat at my seat in the first instance and almost never accept then. It happens a hell of a lot with American passengers for some reason, perhaps because they are used to lots of people in premium cabins being upgraded and thus assume that seat allocation is random upgrade roulette?) or if people lie to me.

Case in point, yesterday on a non-BA short haul flight (AF), I was sat in 3F (first row of economy) which I had pre-assigned. Flight was 99% full and when I boarded after some people jumped the queue, an American lady with her dog in a box thing was in my seat. I politely said that my seat was 3F and asked if she might be in the wrong place. She told me: "that's 3D, 3F is here [pointing to the aisle seat]" and when I told her it was 3F and 3D was the aisle even showing the very helpful little figures in the aisles that make it impossible for anyone to be confused about that, she answered: "no, I called them and asked and they told me 3D is the window". I hate liars, so I did not answer her, and I just sat in 3D temporarily giving her the illusion of a temporary victory and personally enjoying her smug smile. However, the moment boarding was complete, I then asked the "chef de cabine" to come and told him in English (as I didn't want her to think I was saying anything behind her back): "I'm sorry sir, we have a little problem. This lady is in 3D and I am in 3F. I thought that 3F was the window, but the lady explained to me that 3D is the window and that she even called AF and they told her that 3D was the window seat so could you please confirm which it is as I would hate to sit in her seat if it is my mistake".

She blushed abundantly, and after the predictable confirmation, moved hastily and angrily. After the (very polite but firm) CdC left, she looked at me with undesguised hatred and told me I could have just told her that I preferred the window and she would have "let me" sit there. I just smiled apologetically (I suppose you could accuse me of being a passive aggressive j*rk on that one) and said that I was quite sure 3F was the window, but since she seemed to be sure that 3D was and I didn't want to suggest that my belief was worth any more than hers, especially as she had taken the trouble to call AF to confirm that 3D was a window and thus had excellent reasons to think that she was right, I thought it was quite important to ask someone who knew which of us was correct rather than assume that I was. I just did not want to possibly deprive her of her seat even in good faith did I add with a shamelessly innocent smile. I then returned to my computer and my beautiful views and ignored her the rest of the flight.

Again, call me DYKWIA, passive aggressive and whatever you want, I'm sure my attitude was inelegant, but I really dislike being taken for a fool and I dislike being lied to, and I dislike people who force their way and I was not looking forward to 3 flights in economy, so decided to not be nice, and I don't even regret it.