Manners on the bus...

Old Aug 28, 18, 1:12 am
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Manners on the bus...

I was first on the bus so grabbed a single seat at the front. Much later comes a family of four: dad, mum holding a kid of about 2-3 in her arms, and boy of about 9-10. Two single seats still available as most people went to the centre and back.

Dad instructs boy to sit in seat no1 whilst on the phone making his loud “essential” conversation gossiping about x and y whilst snorting like a pig and ignoring his wife and second kid in arms standing in the aisle. When I was a kid, my parents would have had some not very gentle comment to make if I took a seat whilst my mum was standing (with or without my brother in her arms), not that I would have anyway, but hey, I’m thinking that maybe it’s not the lady’s fault if her husband is a rude jerk and they don’t know how to raise her kid, so I ask her if she would like to sit and stand up.

The answer comes: “yes”. Like that. No ‘thank you’ no ‘it’s kind of you’ not even a look. Maybe the two of them deserve each other after all (the pig is still talking loud and snorting even louder).

The kid of 9-10 now proceeds to put his soles on the top of my cabin suitcase. I look at the parents but neither is bothered so I ask the kid to stop. He does but then proceeds to kick said suitcase. Still no reaction from the parents so I ask him to stop doing that and not to give me a reason to ask him to do a third thing or I’ll be very unhappy. Still no parental reaction kid is almost relieved someone has paid attention and stops being a pest for the rest of the time.

And before anyone says it might be a problem of language, they were as English as a fresh baked scone.

Adter boarding i find that a lady in my seat (9A on the 321 which I wont give easily!) she is on her phone just as loud, as gossipy, and as snorting as pig no1 (she must be his US cousin) and when I tell her that I think that’s my seat, she just moves to 10C where she knew she was as it is next to her daughter of 7 or 8 she is still ignoring. Daughter is now kicking my seat. Since the Mum is clearly uninterested, I turn and ask the girl to kindly stop kicking my seat as it’s really uncomfortable. Mum gives me a black look as though I had just asked the girl if she wanted a whisky but kid has stopped so far.

is there a nanny rate I could charge all those rude people for educating their kids in a way they clearly fail to? I won’t charge them for themselves as they are beyond hope when it comes to education.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 1:28 am
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It's a sad reflection on too many parents these days. When I was young my mum would make me stand on a bus or train if there was someone needing a seat. I think it's just that people are becoming more selfish. People think their family should come first and be allowed to do whatever they want. No consideration for what it means for other people.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 1:38 am
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Very interesting reaction from the kid of 9-10. Mum and Dad clearly not very good at noticing things, perhaps including him? He was provocative, hoping to be noticed, you applied a boundary, and reapplied it, he got noticed and was satisfied. Reminds me a little of 'A Monster Calls' and the monster's story about not wanting to the invisible and the destructive ways that we can make ourselves visible.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 1:40 am
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Is it worrying that of the whole story it is mainly the snorting that makes be grateful for not being there?
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Old Aug 28, 18, 1:45 am
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, I blame amazon they shout great baby and a child arrives they dont understand the consequences of their own personal actions. Parents have forgotten to be parents the are on their phones at dinner time. This is of course as noticed by you causing issues to children. The whole of society is affected by this its a sad reflection of modern life.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 2:02 am
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I realise that this makes me sound about a thousand years old but I think there's been a significant decline in manners in general over the last 30 - 40 years. There is a general "elbows out" attitude in day to day life, be that road rage or disinterest in one's offspring. Holding the door open for someone is rarely met with a thanks and don't start me on parking round the school gates. #victormeldrew
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Old Aug 28, 18, 2:14 am
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Originally Posted by TheChangingMan View Post
I realise that this makes me sound about a thousand years old but I think there's been a significant decline in manners in general over the last 30 - 40 years. There is a general "elbows out" attitude in day to day life, be that road rage or disinterest in one's offspring. Holding the door open for someone is rarely met with a thanks and don't start me on parking round the school gates. #victormeldrew
I think most of the changes have been for the better since then. Perhaps there were better outward manners during that time, but so was there greater intolerance and acceptance of many kinds of inequality and abuses. There is still inequality now of course, but at least it is challenged and debated, and open to challenge and debate. So we might have inconsiderate behaviour - noise, using all the charging sockets, hogging sofas, and that's not good, but maybe that is a downside of the huge societal changes that have occurred most of which have been so positive.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 2:42 am
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As a father of two small children, I am often shocked by disinterested parent when their little one misbehave on planes or in the airports.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:00 am
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Originally Posted by TheChangingMan View Post
I realise that this makes me sound about a thousand years old but I think there's been a significant decline in manners in general over the last 30 - 40 years. There is a general "elbows out" attitude in day to day life, be that road rage or disinterest in one's offspring. Holding the door open for someone is rarely met with a thanks and don't start me on parking round the school gates. #victormeldrew
I call it The Age of Entitlement. Parents who refuse to parent, and woe betide anyone who does it in their stead (even when it's to stop Junior from possibly killing their dear little selves!), but expect the world to fall at their spawns' feet. People who believe the world owes them everything, including free travel because they "deserve" it (just for being born from what I can see) and have opened a crowdfunding page. People who object to you yanking them back from being hit by a bus (yes, I was rebuked for doing that by a phone zombie!!!) because you interrupted their precious texting - which of course is the most important thing in the WORLD!

Want = entitlement these days, with too many people wanting everything for nothing. It's making a selfish society.

And don't start me on the push to find "offence" in everything. Where goeth civility?
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:05 am
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Originally Posted by orbitmic View Post
I was first on the bus so grabbed a single seat at the front. Much later comes a family of four: dad, mum holding a kid of about 2-3 in her arms, and boy of about 9-10. Two single seats still available as most people went to the centre and back.

Dad instructs boy to sit in seat no1 whilst on the phone making his loud “essential” conversation gossiping about x and y whilst snorting like a pig and ignoring his wife and second kid in arms standing in the aisle. When I was a kid, my parents would have had some not very gentle comment to make if I took a seat whilst my mum was standing (with or without my brother in her arms), not that I would have anyway, but hey, I’m thinking that maybe it’s not the lady’s fault if her husband is a rude jerk and they don’t know how to raise her kid, so I ask her if she would like to sit and stand up.

The answer comes: “yes”. Like that. No ‘thank you’ no ‘it’s kind of you’ not even a look. Maybe the two of them deserve each other after all (the pig is still talking loud and snorting even louder).

The kid of 9-10 now proceeds to put his soles on the top of my cabin suitcase. I look at the parents but neither is bothered so I ask the kid to stop. He does but then proceeds to kick said suitcase. Still no reaction from the parents so I ask him to stop doing that and not to give me a reason to ask him to do a third thing or I’ll be very unhappy. Still no parental reaction kid is almost relieved someone has paid attention and stops being a pest for the rest of the time.

And before anyone says it might be a problem of language, they were as English as a fresh baked scone.

Adter boarding i find that a lady in my seat (9A on the 321 which I wont give easily!) she is on her phone just as loud, as gossipy, and as snorting as pig no1 (she must be his US cousin) and when I tell her that I think that’s my seat, she just moves to 10C where she knew she was as it is next to her daughter of 7 or 8 she is still ignoring. Daughter is now kicking my seat. Since the Mum is clearly uninterested, I turn and ask the girl to kindly stop kicking my seat as it’s really uncomfortable. Mum gives me a black look as though I had just asked the girl if she wanted a whisky but kid has stopped so far.

is there a nanny rate I could charge all those rude people for educating their kids in a way they clearly fail to? I won’t charge them for themselves as they are beyond hope when it comes to education.
You have just learnt the meaning of the old saying "no good deed should go unpunished." I hope the warm fuzzy glow of knowing you had behaved correctly was sufficient recompense.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:09 am
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Originally Posted by rapidex View Post
You have just learnt the meaning of the old saying "no good deed should go unpunished." I hope the warm fuzzy glow of knowing you had behaved correctly was sufficient recompense.
Actually, ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ was my original thread title! I just thought it wouldn’t be sufficiently descriptive.
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:10 am
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Originally Posted by orbitmic View Post
(...) is there a nanny rate I could charge all those rude people for educating their kids in a way they clearly fail to? I won’t charge them for themselves as they are beyond hope when it comes to education.
How could they educate their offspring if they can't even (be) educate themselves?
On a side note, about the bus encounter: it was the dad that ordered the kid to sit down, instead of leaving the seat for the mother, so not exactly the kids fault she was left standing. IMHO of course
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:25 am
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Perhaps we should change the title of the thread to "My Little Angel"

EG How dare you tell MLA to shutup/stop kicking/ stop chucking monster munch all over you etc etc etc
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:26 am
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Another example of bad breeding. There has been bad breeding since the Homo-Sapien's stood upright, the problem is in an increasing age of overall wealth, mobility and social media we are all too aware of it these days.

The only slight comforting thing is for as many times I have seen such abhorrent behaviour, I have seen in equal measure lots of people raising there offspring with good manners
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Old Aug 28, 18, 3:30 am
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Originally Posted by GlasgowCyclops View Post
Perhaps we should change the title of the thread to "My Little Angel"

EG How dare you tell MLA to shutup/stop kicking/ stop chucking monster munch all over you etc etc etc
MLA? Can't be Malta... so what is it?

(Ah, worked it out, My Little Angel, aka My Little Anti-social-brat)
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