Humourous cabin announcements
Oct 20, 2017, 4:44 am
#16
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Flatland
Programs: AA Lifetime Gold 1MM, BA Gold, UA Peon
Posts: 6,111
This is almost on board an aircraft, from a few weeks ago:
About 5 minutes before boarding was due to start (at 09:00) on the AA DUB-CLT flight: "This is an announcement for passengers on flight AAnnn to Charlotte. Boarding of this flight will be delayed until 09:15."
Followed by: "This is an announcement for American Airlines Flight Attendant <name elided> operating flight AAnnn to Charlotte. Please proceed immediately to Gate 5nn which you will find on the upper level after US Precleareance".
About 10 minutes later: "We will now begin boarding of flight AAnnn to Charlotte.... <long AA boarding group order>".
The crew on board thought this was hilarious when I told them about it.
About 5 minutes before boarding was due to start (at 09:00) on the AA DUB-CLT flight: "This is an announcement for passengers on flight AAnnn to Charlotte. Boarding of this flight will be delayed until 09:15."
Followed by: "This is an announcement for American Airlines Flight Attendant <name elided> operating flight AAnnn to Charlotte. Please proceed immediately to Gate 5nn which you will find on the upper level after US Precleareance".
About 10 minutes later: "We will now begin boarding of flight AAnnn to Charlotte.... <long AA boarding group order>".
The crew on board thought this was hilarious when I told them about it.
Oct 20, 2017, 5:24 am
#17
Join Date: Sep 2017
Programs: British Airways Executive Club
Posts: 18
Once heard one of the Cabin Crew say "As Paul Simon once sang there are 50 ways to leave your lover , however there are only 4 exits on this aircraft therefore we'd appreciate your attention during the saftey demonstration"
i thought it quite witty
i thought it quite witty
Oct 20, 2017, 6:23 am
#18
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 28
I do not know if it is funny or rather sad.
When arriving at the gate at LHR but before opening the doors, the cabin crew announced that they found a hearing device. So whoever is missing his or her hearing device can pick it up ... [I did not hear where because quite a few people had a bit of a chuckle].
When arriving at the gate at LHR but before opening the doors, the cabin crew announced that they found a hearing device. So whoever is missing his or her hearing device can pick it up ... [I did not hear where because quite a few people had a bit of a chuckle].
Oct 20, 2017, 8:09 am
#21
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: MME (midway between NCL and LBA)
Programs: BA Gold, AF/KL Gold, Hilton Gold, Nordic Choice Gold
Posts: 743
I think these sort of announcements are better suited to some routes more than others.
I remember flying AMS-LPL on U2 a few years ago and the female CC did "the 50 ways to leave your lover..." thing - smiles all round amongst the pax on a leisure focused flight.
When the duty free trolley started she came on the tannoy with "If any of you lads are feeling guilty about what you have been up to this weekend, you can always ease your conscience with our selection of expensive perfumes for your girlfriend - now available on the trolley".
Not sure that would have gone down well on LCY-FRA.
I remember flying AMS-LPL on U2 a few years ago and the female CC did "the 50 ways to leave your lover..." thing - smiles all round amongst the pax on a leisure focused flight.
When the duty free trolley started she came on the tannoy with "If any of you lads are feeling guilty about what you have been up to this weekend, you can always ease your conscience with our selection of expensive perfumes for your girlfriend - now available on the trolley".
Not sure that would have gone down well on LCY-FRA.
Oct 20, 2017, 9:31 am
#22
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL350, seat 0k
Programs: SK*G, BA Silver, Flying Blue, VLM, VT Traveller, PC Platinum, BW Diamond
Posts: 3,545
That's an old BMi one, used to hear it on the MAN-TLS service on the Embraer 145 quite a bit.
Oct 20, 2017, 9:45 am
#23
Join Date: Dec 2015
Programs: BAEC Blue
Posts: 247
LH rather than BA but, somewhere over Holland, en route from FRA to BHX, the captain updated us on the progress of the flight and, after giving the usual positional/timing information, cheerfully invited us to "make use of the luxurious spa facilities on the aircraft."
Oct 20, 2017, 9:56 am
#25
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,060
In the old days when the route was London, Muscat, Singapore, Australia, the landing at Muscat was aborted at the last moment. As the plane climbed, the cabin crew announced, “sorry, the captain has just remembered he has an unpaid parking ticket, our next stop will therefore be Singapore”
Oct 20, 2017, 10:41 am
#26
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: UK
Programs: IC Hotels Spire, BA Gold
Posts: 8,668
I posted this before on here so apologies if anyone here already read it.
2-3 of years ago on a BA flight into LHR, approaching LHR from the east over the city the captain said:
"Ladies and Gentleman, this a perfect clear evening to get a view of some of the sights of London. Those of you seated on the right will shortly be able to see the Thames Barrier, The O2 Arena, Canary Wharf, Tower Bridge, St Paul's Cathedral, Big Ben and finally, Buckingham Palace".
There was then a pause for about 5 seconds followed by:
"Those of you seated on the left will unfortunately only be able to see Croydon"
2-3 of years ago on a BA flight into LHR, approaching LHR from the east over the city the captain said:
"Ladies and Gentleman, this a perfect clear evening to get a view of some of the sights of London. Those of you seated on the right will shortly be able to see the Thames Barrier, The O2 Arena, Canary Wharf, Tower Bridge, St Paul's Cathedral, Big Ben and finally, Buckingham Palace".
There was then a pause for about 5 seconds followed by:
"Those of you seated on the left will unfortunately only be able to see Croydon"
Last edited by BOH; Oct 20, 2017 at 10:56 am
Oct 20, 2017, 10:55 am
#27
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: UK
Programs: IC Hotels Spire, BA Gold
Posts: 8,668
I didn't hear this directly but it is legendary in the rail sector where I worked until recently. Between LHR and Paddington there is a train servicing centre, universally known in the rail industry as "North Pole Depot" - it is always referred to by this name.
About 10 years ago, heavy snow in the area lead to some delays and cancellations too and one FGW service came to a halt just past Heathrow Junction. The Guard / Train Manager then made the following announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, am sorry for the delay today, this is due to heavy snow at The North Pole"
About 10 years ago, heavy snow in the area lead to some delays and cancellations too and one FGW service came to a halt just past Heathrow Junction. The Guard / Train Manager then made the following announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, am sorry for the delay today, this is due to heavy snow at The North Pole"
Oct 20, 2017, 11:20 am
#28
Moderator: Qatar Airways
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: LHR/NCE/MIA
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A few years ago on a BA flight to NCE, the manual briefing started:
"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Safety Briefing for your flight to Lyon".
A few people looked up...
"Well now that I have your attention..."
M
"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Safety Briefing for your flight to Lyon".
A few people looked up...
"Well now that I have your attention..."
M
Oct 20, 2017, 11:27 am
#29
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: SYD
Programs: BAEC GGL, HH D, QFF, EB
Posts: 404
Not BA but I think was Kulula in South Africa a few years ago.
After a bumpy landing "Captain Kangaroo will now bounce us to the terminal". They did a number of scripted "funny" announcements. They also had at least one plane painted with right engine, left engine, passengers etc
After a bumpy landing "Captain Kangaroo will now bounce us to the terminal". They did a number of scripted "funny" announcements. They also had at least one plane painted with right engine, left engine, passengers etc