mdj1

So what's the best / most comical line you've heard from a BA pilot?

Friends of mine where travelling back from Europe yesterday. After a three hour plus delay due to the French ATC on arrival the captain announced the he had managed to make up 15 minutes because 'he'd drove it like he'd stole it!'

My colleagues and friends erupted in to laughter. They said the pilot and staff were superb.

For many of them it was the first time they had flown BA, they're of the Ryanair and Easyjet brigade and they couldn't believe the difference. (I must admit I flew Ryanair yesterday and I have to agree that they are now miles apart)

simonrp84

This joke seems familiar from a few weeks ago...
Also,
They couldn't believe how bad BA was compared to the LCCs?

mdj1

I must admit. I've flown short hall BA a fair bit recently and after my RyanAir flights this last week now appreciate BA's offerings a lot more than I did. Especially the new seats.

Funster

Many years ago coming back from Berlin when it was really very windy at LHR. Two planes in front of us went around. After much bumping and jumping we were on the ground with a thud. Get off the runway and the captain came on to say "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to London's Heathrow Airport. I trust you enjoyed the rather... Sporting approach."!!! Classic British understatement at its very best!

LondonElite

Coming back from JFK on BA2 (the fast plane) in 2003 (my final ever Concorde flight), captain announces after turning off 27R "Welcome to London, some three hours and thirty minutes after leaving New York, ladies and gentlemen, the safe part of your journey is now at an end, please be careful on the M4 into central London. That trip can be very dangerous."

Robespierre

About a year ago, LHR - ORY last flight of the day. Board the flight to see engine cowls still open...never a good sign. Sure enough after a short while the Captain announced a change of aircraft and sent the FO plus CSD over to the new one to prep for departure whist we deplaned. All looked good after we boarded the new one until the Capt then announced that they were aginst the clock as Orly had a curfew at 11pm and we could not depart if we couldn't make it. I looked at my watch and realised that was in 45 mins and we hadnt pushed back yet!

ATC must have had a bet on as to whether we would make it and gave us a direct route all the way. After a taxi out that can best be described as "sporty", our takeoff to touchdown took just 34 minutes, arriving 2 mins before Orly turned the lights out. I have been flying the Paris route for over 20 years and have never experienced anything less than 45 minutes before so this clearly took some very fast and neat flying.

After this impressive display of speed the Captain merely announced his apologies for parking on a remote stand but they had to "let the wings cool down".

missdimeaner

On a recent trip coming back from AMS to LHR I could swear the pilot introduced himself as 'Dark Knight' .
I didn't know Batman was a BA pilot.

HIDDY

Not comical but I always look forward to hearing ''we've started our descent into Glasgow''.
I know I'll soon be able to enjoy getting wet, a Blue Lagoon fish supper, a pint of draught beer, a smoke of Condor long cut tobacco and a visit to Poundstretcher plus much much more.

mdj1

Apparently there was also a comment yesterday about the apology for the strike and that it was probably due to the fact we beat them in the rugby.

BingBongBoy

When ringing the flight crew on the 747 for their check.

Me: "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

Driver: "No thanks"

Me: "Correct response... Speak to you shortly"

Waffles1

YOu've eaten at the Blue Lagoon and lived to tell the tale?

JAFF

On landing at Gatwick, we we're 'parked' off-stand for a good 45 minutes, before the (Irish) Captain came over the tannoy to announce "My apologies ladies and gentlemen, it appears the ground staff have lost the plane".

DirtyDavey

After sitting on the tarmac at T5 for 15 minutes waiting for 'the stairs on wheels' to arrive, when they did finally arrive they couldn't get it to align to the door on the aircraft, which then prompted a running comment from the pilot:

"They're getting the steps in", "No they're taking the steps out", "No they're getting the steps in again", "No hang on they're pulling them back out", "In out, in out they'll shake them all about, they'll do they hokey cokey and the steps will fall down, thats how Heathrow turns us out" "ooooooooo do the hokey"........ PA was switched off

dnajockey

After a delay at a remote stand for steps:
"We appear to have taken heathrow completely by surprise by landing an aircraft here"

rpjs

I've had some great skyr there. Oh wait, you don't mean the one in Iceland?