Gaucho100K

Ok... so I was able to sample this VIP service today at Ezeiza.

Im at a loss of words to describe the absolute horrible value that this service offers.... and would have the head of the Corporate Bean Counter that allowed any well run company to flush down the toilet any sum that this "service" costs.

I dont know if the service I was offered is a watered down version, since I did not pay for it - I received a couple of invitations from the bank that issues a MasterCard Black that I carry, its part of the MasterCard Concierge Service.... but in any event, my service today did not include assistance with check-in, and no porter service upon arrival to EZE.

The email I received from MasterCard clearly stated that I had to take care of all check-in formalities before I presented myself at the Information Stand at Terminal A. I was dropped off by my remise service at the curbside of the terminal, and had to hail my own porter... and checked myself in. Good for me I had already done internet checkin, so I was spared the long line and sent along to the premium lane, which was empty.

After getting my bags tagged, I went over to the AA200 information booth. Called my name... and got an escort of a seniorita to the AA2000 VIP Lounge. At the reception, I was asked to produce my Boarding Card and Passport. Once my immigration card was filled out, I gave all the docs to another lady who cleared immigration for me while I waited in the reception area. Once this was completed, I was escorted to a "private" security screening area and then entered the actual Lounge. The lounge area is inside the sterile/secure boarding area, hence you must go through security before you can actually make it to the lounge.

Once inside the lounge... the dissapointment kicks into turbo mode. The general area and furniture is fine... its actually like the Ritz Carlton if you compare it to the Salones Basura that regular mortals have access to. However, even in this Eden of a Lounge, the EZE virus always comes back to bite you in your Pototo..... a closer look at the booze selection yields pathetic grades. Only wine available is from El Plonko producer from El Fin del Mundo...

I splurged into luxury as I opened a bottle of domestic Heineken.... heck, I guess I was glad it was at least very well chilled. Peanuts with that beer Sir.... hell no. No barperson.... no peanuts, no potato chips. Just a few stale looking bakery items and some horrible Club Social Crackers.

Food.... another missing in non-action. I guess I have to comment on the small exclusive duty free shop.... The selection is so pathetic and so small that I cant even properly begin to critique it...

I could write on and on.... but Im sure you all get the picture. If you can get in here on a freebie, then by all means.... remind yourself that this is not the Silver Kris lounge, but it sure is quieter and somewhat nicer than any of the Salones Basura.... however, please do not forget to manage your expectations.

To end on perhaps the only other positive note... when you are ready for boarding, a seniorita comes to where you are and escorts you to the gate, so you do get priority boarding regardless of your status with the airline and no matter if you are flying in front or back of the bus.

I will be sampling this service again on arrival..... will of course be back to report as soon as Im back in the saddle middle of next week.

Greetings from the Sumaq lounge in LIM.....

Cheers,
Gaucho100K

Eastbay1K

Well, as I have had a couple of non-funny sitcoms on TV tonight, you have provided the only real laugh of the night.

I'm sure you have found the almost-adequate SUMAQ selection a veritable gourmet buffet compared to EZE.

I suppose it is nice to know that no matter what secret glass doors I've yet to have access to at EZE, I'm really not missing anything.

But the most shocking part of your post is that apparently you don't complete and print your immigration forms before you go to the airport.

Gaucho100K

Indeed.... the SUMAQ's food offerings are like brunch at the Conrad in SIN compared to the various Salones Basura, VIP or not.

What was a little like the Cairo Airport lounges in the 90ies was the fact that the staff at the lounge walk around "shouting" the boarding calls for each flight... this makes it a little too loud and can be annoying... but, after my slumming at the EZE non-lounge this was punishment I was happy to take.

On a final note.... its clear that the Priority Pass benefit has joined the ranks of yet another diluted "elite" benefit... at LIM I saw more PP black cards than boarding passes....

Gaucho100K

Guilty as charged...

I will have to spank my assistant in the buttocks for not having this done for me this trip...

HIDDY

Have the airport authorities chased off the porters at EZE? In times gone by one had hardly stepped down from ones transport than a "porter" would be taking charge of your luggage whether you liked it or not.
Now I notice they seem to have disappeared from the scene altogether which makes me suspect they have been sent packing. Which if true is a good move as they were a bloody pest most of the time. Same goes for the taxi touts....no sign of them yesterday when we arrived.

This priority service won't last by the sound of it. The airport was very busy when we departed the other week. Although the security and immigration queues were long we were soon through them without much lounge drinking time being used up.

Gaucho100K

The porters are still there... I used one myself this last trip. But during busy times they can be hard to find, I think they just have a limited amount of them and during peak times at the Terminal you will have to wait quite some time until one gets free to help you.

SoFlyOn

HIDDY, I too remember that upon arrival several years ago you had to shoo them off. They were everywhere. The other thing I noticed is that they exited with the passenger in the left hand customs lanes - the ones that skipped the X-ray machines. Perhaps there's been a crackdown on the kickbacks?

HIDDY

Male or female? I need to know.

They certainly aren't around in the numbers that they used to be especially at the departures drop off. It was practically impossible to go get a trolley and load the luggage yourself without someone wanting to take charge of it.....some of them were dodgy looking characters although never ever gave us any trouble. I suspect they have been chased away as I haven't noticed them for at least a couple of years now. Maybe any that are left are officially allowed to be there.

Gaucho100K

Im afraid that is classified/proprietary information....

Gaucho100K

So..... here is the report of the arrivals service for this "VIP Treatment".

I arrived on LAN from Lima at 0600hs. As I exited the aircraft, at the end of the Jetway there were 2 (two) Senioritas from AA2000, the company that runs the EZE airport, were waiting with my name on a sign.

I was escorted by these two ladies down to the immigration area, where the usual EZE Zoo was going on... the lines were horrid. I thought we would go to a special line (crew or diplomatic), but instead I was sent into a private waiting room where I could have had breakfast. One of the ladies took my passport and cleared immigration for me, which let me alone with the 'succulent' breakfast.....

Bad fake orange juice, a few canned drinks, some stale looking croissants and breads... and there was also coffee or tea. The only interesting thing was the days newspaper so I could catch up on the local politics... we have a presidential election coming up in 2 weeks. No bottled water... I could have used that as I was thirsty.

While I waited, the other AA Seniorita went off to fetch my bags.... some 5 minutes later, my passport came back - immigrasi cleared. Then, another 8-10 minutes later, one of the AA2000 ladies comes and announces that my bags were ready.

I was escorted out of the lounge and onto a separate customs line where a porter had my bags ready for inspection. 15 seconds later, after the xray machine was ignored by a tired looking customs official... the AA2000 porter walked me to my car service. There, both thanked me for using the VIP service, wished me a nice day... and sent me on my way.

I was very surprised when the AA2000 porter refused my tip... apparently they dont want them to accept any gratuity. I insisted, twice... but the guy said he didnt want to loose his job. I thought I was a decent tipper, after all I was handing him a US$20 bill... but he didnt take it.

Conclusion: the arrivals service is useful, and yes, after a long 16 hour flight it was nice to not have to cue up and play along with the zoo. The porter service is also handy... but all in all, paying even a hugely discounted price for this service is very very questionable. I will be using this service early next year with the family if we go to Brazil or the US again.... but aside from the free passes I get from my MasterCard accounts, there is certainly no chance in hell you will find me paying for this.

Eastbay1K

Thanks for the comprehensive report. So, overall, I have 2 comments:
(1) The arrivals service appears much more useful than the departure service if one has a limited amount of passes; and
(2) I suggest you take a short 16 hour flight, as opposed to the long 16 hour flight you took. A 16 hour flight is not as painful that way.

Gaucho100K

(1) yes.... if I needed to save my freebie passes this is the way to go

(2) yes... but remember that 16 hour flights are both long and short. For folks like me, on the wrong side of the curtains, 16 hours is a long flight. For those on the right side of the division, 16 hours can be a short flight...

HIDDY

Once again it really depends what time you arrive. We arrived last week around 5.30pm from GRU. Arrivals was deserted and we were through immigration in about five minutes, collected our bags and past customs in the space of about 15 minutes. So quick in fact we were too early for our driver.

Gaucho100K

Yes...... but...... I did leave out one important piece of information on my trip reports on this service....

They serve Reserva San Juan at the VIP Lounge....

Why is it that I now picture the some famous Scottish FT'er running to his cellphone to call AA2000 and purchase a dozen of these VIP passes.....???????

HIDDY

I thought you said it was a premium service that they offered?

I shall stick with the adequate offerings in the RCC lounge thank you very much.

By the way.....I recently found the buggers at EZE have closed the smoking room.