How to comfort a loved one losing status?
 

My girlfriend, an eight year EXP, dropped to PLT last year, and will be no status this coming year. (She quit her corporate job in 2018 to start her own business). She's going on a girl's trip to LAS in the morning, and she asked me today why her upgrade hadn't cleared. I don't know how to break it to her, that, Babe, it isn't going to. :D

We pay for F or J when traveling together, but she, oddly, is ok going in Y alone. IOW, she won't pay for F for herself, but she was so spoiled by EXP, she got used to thinking she was gonna get upgraded. I'm laughing on the inside, but in the interest of maintaining the peace, I'm crying for her pain on the outside. Any advice, Flyertalkers?

Bummer... but sounds like she realizes some of the perks (comp upgrade 99% of the time) aren't currently what they were a decade ago.

If the trip is indeed in January, she is still EXP, albeit being several others based on EQD.

Alas, that is the only piece of good news I have for her.

It’s....it ain’t easy. I also once lost status. I went from being Chairman’s Preferred to..just nothing. Just a Dividend Miles member. The pain is real. It hurts man, when you board and you have to sit behind the curtain instead of in front of it. Walking past 1st class, hating each pax more then the last. Last week, Mini bottles of gin. This week..Dasani Sparkle. You go to parties and every story is....I USED to have status, I used to fly a lot, I used to be a big deal. You’re at the airport, thinking people in the pre✅ line will care that you USED to be Elite. But they don’t. They don’t care that you’ve been there & know what you’re talking about..not at the gate, not at the counter, nowhere. It’s lonely and cruel and cold.

This is a Mars/Venus thing. Don’t try to fix it...just listen and acknowledge like you have a bag of F to give...

Fortunately, I’m platinum now and will be EXP by the fall, where I won’t have to be bothered with such people and interface with the great unwashed...

PLT.

Being a free agent one can shop for the best deal. If it bothers her that she has no status and she wants at least Plat, then tell her to buy a CX PE mileage run when the next NA sale comes round. I am dropping from Plat to nothing in a few days, but I got lots out of it on other One world carriers while it lasted.

I'd say this unless you are a CK or at least a mid level spend EXP prepare to sit in the back, a lot. I'm a mid spend PP with 3 flights on Saturday, including one in the evening, and right now it doesn't look like I will be sitting up front on any of them. It's coming down to if you really want F and not in one of the aforementioned groups, pay for F.

sounds like she is fine letting op pay for F or J, but not yet comfortable asking op to pay for a solo flight.

She could check if she has a buy back offer to keep PLT.

Don't be an enabler of status addiction.

Tell her that Santa was bringing it but his sleigh went mx, so you are trying to reach the tooth fairy to see if you can fix the situation...:p

Seriously, its time to tell her that the upgrade fairy is not real and explain where the upgrades come from...:p

:tu::tu:

Been there.
IT IS OK.
Actually, it is liberating as...
- You only fly when you have to (no more chasing status or having spreadsheets tracking EQMs EQDs)
- Take the most convenient flights (not the AA or OW Flight)
- Less time in the air, more time at home with loved ones. Anybody values that?
- Experience new aircraft, hubs, crews
- Read the editorials by Munoz or Bastian on "Hemispheres" or "Sky" :p

Well.... you are in a pickle..I see you have status for life time...
oh the way this would probably work, is that let her get a few flights under her belt.. she may or may not, be happy, I think just reminding her that the flights are not really long.
and that there are lots and lots of passenger that fly coach all the time.. Heck even EXP have to fly coach sometimes.. (me)
ok, at this she will probably take it out on you little, however, she might remember the days was she was building to EXP, and that may help.

Good luck

Other approaches include focusing on the positive, like that she still has free MCE and bag until the 31st...:p

A more radical approach is to test the strength of the relationship but telling her the truth, if it survives it she is a keeper...:)

As other posters have said above, there’s a lot of upside to being self employed and not beholden to corporate travel people. I left my cushy corporate job 15 years ago, losing all benefits including top status with DL and US. Long story short, I just made CK last month after being EXP for about four years. These days I select all my own itineraries, travel dates, ground transportation options etc without being tied down to some silly corporate contract or policy. And the best part, it’s all tax deductible. Granted, it took a decade before I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Am the only one thinking the obvious - tell her to grow up and come back for support when she has a real problem? I mean, I know we come here to discuss very first world problems, but needing to be comforted because you lost status with an airline?

:rolleyes: Someone's sarcasm meter isn't working today.

Did you check the online/in app buy up offers? If it’s reasonable, go for it. Also you could check if there’s C inventory and use a mileage upgrade or possibly a bxp1

With all these handles I have no idea how many women have posted on this thread so far. Now, You did ask so I will tell you exactly what to do - but it will not be cheap. If you really love her - you will buy her a First Class ticket. Tell her that this is a one off - but you cannot bear to see her pain. It is entirely possible that she will not accept this, but she will know what you did and she will adore you for your thoughtfulness, If she's not worth the price of a First Class ticket, then frankly should you be bothering with her?

Sound advice. Whenever I book tickets for my partner I book the same class I would have booked were it to be me travelling. I think it's the right thing to do.

Very sound advice, Pucci, and I would have done just that, except that she planned and booked this trip on her own, no input from me required or requested.

For those who seem humor impaired, (not you, Pucci), I’d like to point out that tongue was planted firmly in cheek during the writing of the op. My darling girl called a little while ago to say she’d arrived, sans upgrade but otherwise intact.

Si si exactamente! I was a status slave for many years but NO MAS! Losing estatus I thought was soo hard but it is not. I signed up for AA PP challenge last summer but did no flying on AA except on awards, it is not worth it at all.

Now I like to read the new prensa when I use a different airline. Senor Pedro's editorial is more functional and with less hype than the gringo carriers UA AA and DL. Tambien the CM magazine has more depth - in comparison - to otras prensas del vuelos. The UA propaganda I read for many years and it is dull and not engaging. A3 has nice inflight prensa with soooo many pictures of every small Greek island which they will only serve only seasonally in Q400 for 800E each way but they looks good and makes me wannnt to go. Even without novio/a! LOL!

Buuut a great one was Stelios with his EasyRead. I laughed when I saw his pictures in the orange jumpsuit with EZ workers picketing the EU parliament years ago. Mucho mejor que la prensa del vuelo de AA! LOL! I would love if Senor MOL would write in a more direct way because his editorial would be the best but there is no such prensa on FR. Lamentos!

Senora, I have a different theory. AA estatus platino is not worth fighting for. Also, OP can test his novia. I propose to him do nothing and see how sheee reponds to flying in Y. If hombre has real cojones he will do truly special things for her and not waste money on this tinsel and send such signal to her. It is not exciting to me to see a boy who is a not really a man but is so owned by all woman in such ways in total. Also, we must think in practical... it is too expensive to do this if we have more than one novio/a, lol!

I'll just note that AA Platinums (and, indeed, all oneworld Sapphires and Emeralds) can select a Main Cabin Extra seat at no extra charge at time of booking on AA. Extra legroom seats; free alcohol; and dedicated overhead bins. No, it's not First Class, and there will not be a free meal, but for domestic travel, MCE is still significantly better than "regular" Coach.

Or someone's writing ability isn't.

Darling - that is so sweet. I am delighted that she arrived after her ordeal - I actually thought that she was travelling Friday so my advice was somewhat redundant, but never mind. As soon as I read your missive I was amused and thought - priceless!

Years ago I wrote about some woman who was not upgraded on some ridiculously short flight of less than an hour. As memory serves the exhibition that she made of herself surpassed wonder and I gather than she went into cardiac arrest - or so she claimed. The best was that her friend (why would anyone bother?) was upgraded and practically stepped over the woman prostrate in the gate area and just boarded the aircraft.

Madness lies at the upgrade stage.

i prefer women who help themselves but to each their own. unsurprising that a woman suggests showering her in free first class tickets...

Querida Senora - your point of view intrigues me. I have never ever subscribed to running more than one man at a time and one husband if more that enough. He has learnt over the years that I will always let him have the least word in any discussion or argument - "Yes Dear". Whilst him manhood is in no doubt, had he not done exactly as I advised the OP (whether I would have accepted or not is another matter), otherwise her knows that his cujones would be served up to him on a plate wtih a mustard relish.

It's no fun moving backwards on the ladder. I have done it many times in life, both in AA status and financially.
I once was CK and DH and I still look wistfully at the velvet rope at the Flagship Check-In while we wait in the Pre-Check lane.
Sigh.
But it also prompts fond memories. Remember when the CK ambassador materialized out of nowhere to pre-board us (I swear she was hiding in the podium)?
And escorted us on the plane with her iPad and asked a First Class passenger to move so that we could sit together?

So now---we mostly pay to fly business/first or use miles to purchase business/first. If we don't----we will be staring longingly at the curtain while sitting in MCE. Missing PDB, smelling warm nuts, meals and hearing the tinkling of real glass for the cocktails.

My recommendation would be the gift of a bunch of 500-mile upgrades so she can upgrade when she chooses.

My Dear your idea of showering is not mine - we are talking about one round trip ticket. I suppose that in similar vein it is unsurprising that a man does not get it.

Between us, we currently have 87 500-mile upgrades, that’s how she was on the list. We’re DFW based, so...good luck ever having them clear anymore. :)

op has been buying F and J tickets historically, so it has been a lifetime of golden showers.

I assume you know the definition of that term....;)

I think you should sit her down and explain to her that she now has peasant status with AA and her travel life won't be the same. She won't be on the upgrade list any more, will pay for her bag, won't even get preferred seats, and board with group 7, unless she pays extra. Then tell her that you are sorry that this happened to her, and ask her what she is going to do, does she have a plan, and if she is gonna be okay. :)

She needs to understand that with time everything starts to disappoint. What she may have loved and appreciated in the past will fail to deliver the same degree of satisfaction and pleasure in the future. She either excepts what she's got or starts looking for greener pastures

He was grinding his axe so loudly he probably didn't hear you...

I understand her pain. I lose EXP after tomorrow...it has been nice...got to use all SWU. Anyway, i will just revert to paid F/J until my next comp PLT with challenge up to EXP.....never fear true Elites....i dont fly that much relative to you so im not "stealing" your upgrades!

Jejeje! Gracias por esta risa, senora! When you describe "him" I cannot help it.. I am seeing a scene from that very famous British historic comedic show where Basil places a collar on Manuel and pulls him on the floor... LOL!