In the lead up to the podium the other day, I noticed that the screener designated as the ID oogler looked a little frazzled but she was cute, shapely, and just the sort of sweet little thing you'd like to see smile. So, I winked at her and I was secondaried. It was the first time I've been secondaried in over a year.

So, I need to know, is winking at screeners against the SOP now? My poppa always taught me to appreciate beauty, and if anything is a violation of the First Amendment, this is it. I should be able to express myself with my left eyelid any way I wish to.