I'm stuck at LAX for 7 hours today, so I've been wandering around a bit (there are just so many screwdrivers I can drink the Red Carpet Club) and I noticed something interesting. I was walking past one of those stand-alone ATM machines and noticed a couple of uniformed private security guards loading it up with cash. What initially got my attention were the huge stacks of 20s lying around -- there had to hundreds of thousands of dollars in neatly-banded 20s. But then I noticed the Sam Browns worn by the guards. As with most security guards that handle large sums of money, the belts were outfitted for pistols and mace. However, for these guys -- the mace and pistol holster were empty. Well, of course -- they have to come through security and airside is sterile: no guns and no mace.

So all we need is a bunch of really big guys . . .

Obviously, I'm just kidding. Still, I think it is absolutely bizarre that bonded security guards who can carry guns in banks, on the street, etc., can't carry them in an airport.

I feel safer. Don't you?