With many apologies to Paul Simon.....



The screener stopped me and said, “I can’t let you through,”
Not with your bottle of that dangerous shampoo.
The TSA is watching everything you do.
We’ve got 20 layers of security.”

“We’re keeping you safe, though we do not like to brag,
Our BDO’s spot each behavioral red flag,
Like insults written down on your Kip Hawley bag.
We’ve got 20 layers of security.”

Show me your ID, Lee.
Take off your shoes, Lou.
Want to fly today, Ray?
We got security.

You’re SSSS, Bess.
Now you’re in a big mess;
I’ll cop a feel for free.
We got security.

He said,

“You should be grateful that we put you through all this.
It’s for your own good that you’re always being frisked.
Now let me strip search this kid on the no fly list.
We’ve got 20 layers of security.”