Smoking indeed. From Orange County...must be in Fantasyland. Switch to HP? Been there, tried that. Not going back.

I am a United 1K and was comped to America West platinum level this year. If I have any other available choice, I'll never fly them again.

Earlier this year (so this is not outdated information), I was booked to fly JFK-LAX-JFK. I booked the flight about ten days out. My membership number was in my record.

Upgrade did not clear in advance. I check in at JFK with one of my associates, who is a gold member. His upgrade did not clear in advance either.

He is handed a first class boarding pass and I am in coach. First class now full, I am told.

I asked how a gold gets upgraded ahead of a platinum. The agent didn't know and could not have been more indifferent about it. She did verify that my platinum status had been in the record the whole time.

I go to the gate and ask the same question. They don't know and act like I am bothering them. They all but told me to get lost.

I asked to speak to a supervisor. He's busy.

The agents now opine that the gold checked in first. I ask what difference that makes? We're both confirmed on the flight and I'm a platinum. Why was he upgraded ahead of me? They shrug and walk away.

Supervisor never shows up. And people complain United is bad?

Finally, an announcement is made. Mechanical problem with the aircraft. Flight cancelled. Our tickets are endorsed over to....United. Two agents to handle the whole cancelled flight. I knew enough to literally run to the ticket counter and be first in the queue. Good thing.

I go over to the UA counter, check in, upgrad both of us to business class (three class aircraft), and enjoy the non-stop flight to LAX--avoiding the stop I would have had to make in Phoenix on HP.

I threw away the return ticket and haven't looked back.