Originally Posted by
jiejie
After 7 years here, I've found the secret to not letting China and the Chinese drive you insane is to pick your everyday battles wisely, stand up for yourself if you need to, learn whatever "system" applies to common tasks and game it to your advantage if possible, then don't sweat the rest. Regardless, I still have Bad China Days where I go home, slam the door to the world outside, and rant to anyone who will listen. Then get over it and go out the next day to do battle again. It's true that the application of sums of money can buy you the VIP treatment and the use of local intermediaries and service providers that insulate you against much of the everyday frustrations of getting personal tasks accomplished, but this is true in more places than just China.
Sometimes though, it's more satisfying to apply the direct bit*h-slaps yourself. Case in point: in December I was at the flagship Olympic merchandise store in Wangfujing buying souvenir Christmas presents to take back to USA. Was only person waiting at cashier counter while they changed out staff and cash drawer, so I was legitimately next. A Chinese guy tried a flanking maneuver and inserted his hand with cash and price slip, in front of me towards the cashier. I grabbed his hand and cash, and flung them away, giving him a very loud scolding (in Mandarin): "You would act with these bad manners and shame your family and your Motherland?!" I guarantee I was loud and angry enough that the closest 100 people to us all heard and turned withering gazes from me to the perpetrator, who gave an embarassed grin, lowered his ears and tail, and took his place at back of customer line that was now forming behind me. HA! Words cannot express how good that felt! In China, you take your victories where you can.
A fantastic post. I'm kind of the same way, though I'm still learning... Ripping someone a new one certainly feels good at times. Here's a typical example of negotiation, being hard nosed and chewing someone out. I'll let it be known that this kind of negotiation pretty much happens on a daily basis.
We had exams today, and in addition to telling off my teacher (who's no more than 25) for giving us a very late notification regarding the exam, I let them have it when she and the other proctor when refused our class's request for them to notify us how much time we would have left in the exam at certain intervals.
There was no clock on the wall and we made note of this; my teacher and the other proctor decided it would be a brilliant idea to tell everyone to turn off their phones. That's fine and good, since phones can ring and people can use them to cheat. However, this also meant that people wouldn't be able to keep track of time. I mentioned this point to which I was given a response.
"We don't want to distract you by telling you how much time you have left."
My response, "Ok, Then you'll write it on the board."
"Ok, we'll tell you when you have 10 minutes left."
"No you'll write more than that"
"Ok when there are 20 minutes left and then when there are 10 minutes left."
"No you will do it when there are 50 mins left, 40, 30, 20, and 10. And no I am not turning off my phone, I will put it on silent."
They wrote it in 10 minute intervals, starting at 50.
Don't think I did great on the exam though...
With regards to the queueing thing, I find it quite embarrassing when some dude (I'm still a dude myself) tries to push past everyone to board the bus (including older people who have difficulty walking/canes). I usually just body them out or elbow them pretty hard and let the seniors on their way. Shameful considering that tradition Chinese culture is all about respecting elders. While I have gotten into the butting in line habit as well as others (really no choice), you've got to give older people some room and then let the melee begin...