A Matini is now, always was and ever shall be made with gin! The other drink remains clearly a "Vodka Martini", another kettle of fish, another flavor, another thrill.

The best Martini I ever had was a double in the cocktail lounge of the Warwick Hotel, New York City, the night of October 22, 1962, before departing "for the Front" (Key West, and those who remember the date will know why). The schedule of recreational physical activities following the Martini(s) in question also rank among the "Best" (at least until 8 bells of the Mid - that's 4AM, to catch the hop South).

Close to the best Martini....(but maybe a Gibson with the onions)

Unless you have access to honest to goodness Spanish Manzanilla Olives (unstuffed) and Meyer lemons,

At least a month before, find a recipe for Moroccan salt-preserved lemons, and prepare it with regular "store bought" lemons, adding a handful of cocktail onions to each jar of lemons.

Keep a liter of Beefeaters' in the deep freeze along with a rack of stemmed glasses.

Add a teaspoon of Noilly Pratt Dry Vermouth to a well-chilled Martini Glass, swirl and discard all but a few drops "filming" the interior. Add gin, about the consistency of Karo syrup.

Introduce a twist of Meyer lemon anda couple of little olives, or in lieu of same, add a twist of preserved lemon peel and a couple of onions.

Consume no more than 2 big'uns, preferably before rare red meat or enthusiastic sex. If you must combine the rare beef and sex, try the sex first, after the Matinis but before the beef.