avek00,

I can most certainly sympathize with your frustration. Obviously a gentlemen of your refinement and sensitivity is accustomed to only the very, very best. Here are some things you might try to help you avoid these petty annoyances in the future:

1. Only buy full-fare first class tickets. All airlines provide special lines and services for those persons willing to pay the price. Coach travel should definitely be left to the young, and resilient

2. Buy an additional full-fare first class ticket for your servant, so that he/she might enter the plane with cleaning equipment, and spiff it up prior to your entrance.

3. You might just consider buying your own 747 and appointing and operating it, just the way you like. By so doing, you will never again be subjected to the foibles of commercial air travel. I am certain this decision would bring both you and NWA great relief.