This reminds me of George Carlin's bit on airplanes and flying the airlines.....I loved it....

Get on the plane, get on the plane....I say f*** you....I'm getting IN THE PLANE!!!!.....there seems to be less wind in there!

Make sure you take all of your personal belongings with you.....well what other kind of belongings are there other than personal? Public belongings?.......that you might have brought on board.....well I might have brought my personal arrowhead collection.....but I didn't.....SO I'M NOT GONNA LOOK FOR IT!

The captain has illuminated the.......captain? Did I miss so armed forces swearing in ceremony? He's a f***ing pilot and should be happy with that......Tell the captain that Air Marshall Carlin says GO F*** YOURSELF!

The one that always gets me on board of DL is "check the security of your seat belt." Well.....even when it is unbuckled....it is farily secure.....not gonna come off to easily.

I wish DL would play that bit from Carlin on their flights. The whole plane would be ROTFL!