Great thread!
I've got more rules that can go into one post.
1. Pizza should only contain crushed tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and basil.
2. A tomato not grown in Italy is not worth using for cooking -- canned imported tomatoes a always better than fresh domestic ones for use in cooking.
3. Boar's Head is the only brand of cold cuts worth eating.
4. Roast beef for a roast beef sandwich must be rare and from Boar's Head.
5. A deli is not a real deli if its bread doesn't come from Arthur Avenue.
6. Mayonaisse is idsgusting unless it is Helmans, in which case it is the best condiment ever.
7. Dijon mustard is for cooking, not for sandwiches.
8. Vadalla onions are not for use in cooking. They are only meant to be served raw.
9. Ketchup should only be made by Heinz.
10. It is better to go without than to compromise of ingredients.
11. Light, reduced fat or fat free products are not allowed. Eat less of the real thing.