My exit row story:

I'm no status at all, flying on a 20K sale free award ticket.

Can't get exit row assigned in advance (no surprise there...I'm low man on the totem pole at CO, no mater how you cut it).

Ask at the airport for exit row. Sorry, all taken.

Get on my MD-80. Aisle on the 3 side, window taken but seat between us still empty. But the legroom. Man...after a few experiences in United's Economy Plus, I feel like a sardine on this dog rocket.

Anyway, I look back over my shoulder and spy 2 guys sitting in the 2 side exit row, 21. I'm afraid I'm doing a little "profiling" of my own on these 2 gentlemen. The one on the aisle is reading a non-English newspaper. A Clue? A possiblity?

I stand up and stop the FA as she passes and tell her "If you find anyone is not qualified to sit in the exit row, I'd love to switch." She gives me a very puzzled look. I shift my eyes back to 21. Her eyes follow. "Ok" is all she says.

She walks back to the 2 in 21 and I can hear her ask, "Are you both willing and able to assist the crew in an emergency?" They guy in the aisle seat looks puzzled but his pal in the window seat says, "Yes, we are." The FA asks the aisle guy again. Another look of puzzlement and the window guy once again answers in the affirmative.

Bingo.

The FA says, "I need this gentleman to answer himself. Sir, do you speak English?"

Nada. Bingo, bingo.

The FA instructs the aisle, by way of the window, that aisle will have to move as English is required for those sitting in an exit row. Window is upset and says that they need to sit together. "That's not a problem," the FA says. "We've got 2 together over there." The man in the window resists again and the FA says, "You are welcome to remain, but I have to move your friend."

I can't help feel a bit guilty, but them's the rules and safety first, and all that rationalization plus taking my new exit row seat with the window seat next to it now vacant, makes my guilt quickly fade away.

Very nice seat for Economy, as most of you probably know.

Now being really motivated to snag the exit row on the return flight, on arrival at IAH, I head to the ticketing counter and inquire if they can pre-assign me the same seat if available on the return. I tell the nice lady that I was told only airport personnel could do that for non-elites.

No problem. Assigned the exit row seat for my return. She even prints out a copy of my PNR showing the new seat assignment and her authorization, for me to take with me.

I'm happy.