Originally Posted by Tempus Fugit
Serious question: Why does it not help the server in an informal restaurant if the dishes are stacked at the end of the table (esp at a booth)? I would have assumed that it was a "nice " gesture. ( From the "old days" when properly brought up young people were taught "not to make extra work for the servants".)
Of course in a more formal restaurant one assumes that the bus people will remove the used dishes at just the right time and in the most aesthecitally pleasing manner and that for the guest to "stack" them on the table would be simply to destroy the beauty of the table and the dining pleasure of the other guests. I assume it is in that sense that you find it rude to the other people at the table and in the restaurant.
As a server, I used to have to pick through those "baskets" to pull out silverware, trash, etc. If folks stacked plates one on top of another, that meant I had to not only deal with scraping food off the top of the plate, but also touching their leftover food on the bottom as I separated the stacked dishes. I would prefer to properly clear the table and stack the dishes myself to get silverware and trash out as I stack them.
The original poster commented on using the chip basket. I've been at tables with several folks who assume that because they are done with the chips that others must be too... and start throwing trash in the empty basket which signals the server that we all must be done.
If I'm at a fast food or counter service place, it is totally a different story, but the scenario here was a Mexican restaurant and if I'm being waited on by a server, I don't need to do his/her job for him or her.
And yes, beyond that, it is an aesthetic thing... if the entire table is done eating, then all dishes should be cleared. If one person is done, it is rude of that person to signal to the others that they too should be done by pushing their plate away, stacking dishes, or other behaviors. Emily Post and Miss Manners both have a few statements on this.
(And on that manners topic... another pet peeve: I think it is rude to put your napkin in your dirty plate when you are done dining. And it is even ruder when you are dining at my house where you very well may be staining or ruining my nice cloth napkins. Your napkin belongs on your lap and if you are done eating, it can be folded neatly.)