While I haven’t lived in MEL in a long long time, it’s still home to me.

The coffee scene, the great restaurants, the multiculturalism, great pubs, cold beer and Aussie Rules Football. And while it might surprise some of you, I still have a lot of friends who live there and who still invite me to dinner.

But the airport is an embarrassment.

It is essentially the same building it was 25 years ago. The airport management will tell you that they have upgraded the joint but trust me, this is where the saying lipstick on a pig came from.

The left hand side of the Qantas domestic terminal is the same dingy low ceiling cesspit it was 25 years ago. And the international terminal in the middle, while it has had some internal mods, is no bigger. They’ve bolted on a couple extra gates but that's about it.

Quite why Melbournians put up with it is beyond me.

The next part of my travels would take me to Auckland.

I had booked Air NZ and as I mentioned, and just for laughs, played around with the upgrade system. You tell them a number you’re prepared to pay and some man who lives in his mother’s basement and drives a Fiat Punto holds the fate of your journey in his hands.

A day before I was to fly, ANZ sent me an email which basically told me that I was a pathetic loser and my bid for an upgrade wasn’t successful.

The bird across the ditch was a 777. And let me tell you, their premium economy product is most excellent.

I had the bulkhead seat on the right hand side of the aircraft. Drinks were served in real glasses. You had a choice of meals. And the service was delivered with that delightful New Zealand “we’re not quite sure what we’re doing but everything will be alright in the end” attitude.

I loved it.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to be in one of those seats all the way to the US. But for 3 hours, it was a piece of cake.

Because Marriott and I are out of sorts, I am pushing hotel stays to Hyatt. So I decided another Park Hyatt was in order.

The Auckland PH is literally brand new. It’s very trendy. While the rooms and structure is probably better than PHS, I’m not convinced the service is better.

I’m not going to bore you with lengthy descriptions or pictures of the rooms and as some of you know, you will rarely see a pic of a bidet or a breakfast buffet in one of my TR’s. I’ll leave that to those slightly offbeat credit card bloggers who like flogging that sort of thing.

A lot of people have a go at me for staying in hotels and eating at the same property. I quite like it.

So that night, I decided to eat at the hotel restaurant. It’s called Onemata.

If I can, I always sit at the bar.

In this case, the counter was directly in front of a very impressive, spotlessly clean and shiny open plan kitchen.

The person who greeted me looked at me weirdly when I asked if I could sit at the counter. It was like I just told her that I had gone on a date with her mother.

So there I sat and had an excellent meal.

The next day I had breakfast in the same restaurant and like all FT’ers, I dont go anywhere without my laptop.

I informed the nice staff person that there was just one. She directed me to a small table set for 2.

I politely declined and said could I sit at the table that was set for 4.

“But that table is set for 4”
“Yes I know”
“But why?”
“I need to take medication and I can’t take it orally”

She did a double take and sensing an arm waving, she scurried to the table and removed 2 place settings and let me sit there.

Here’s the thing.

I hate being cramped at a table. Any table. Maybe it’s my old age. But it wasn’t like the restaurant was screaming busy.

I thought if I wanted to be bossed around by cranky women, I could have stayed in Melbourne where my sister and mother would do this for free.

After breakfast, I asked the same bossy lady if I could grab a coffee and move next door to this wonderful living area space.

“No”
“Excuse me”
“Were all separate, you have to order from them”
“Um ok then”

To me, that's not very Park Hyatt. That's more Motel 6.

Maybe I’m getting grumpier in my old age. Ok scratch that. We know this is true.

So while my PHA visit was short-lived, I did quite like it. I would stay there again. Amazing location, good views and I’m told, some very decent restaurants within spitting distance.

I didn’t want to get to AKL too early because all I had to look forward to was the Air NZ lounge. While it’s perfectly adequate and has some great views of the tarmac, it’s nothing to write home about.

While I won’t admit this publicly - I actually think AKL airport is better than MEL. They’ve actually spent more than $100 on the joint.

It’s been a long time since I have been on an A380. I used to spend half my life on them when I lived in SIN and flew EK every other week.

There a million videos, photos and travel bloggers who will regale you with their epic SQ Suites trips. So I won’t bore you with the details.

All I can say is this. One word.

Footstool.

The suite is a wonderful place to hang out.

As you would expect the service is impeccable SQ. Faultless to a tee.

A gaggle of FA’s come by and introduce themselves warmly to you. They bring you pajamas, slippers, wash bag, show you how to use the B&O headphones, show you how the suite works and then tell you that they are literally at your beck and call for the whole flight.

Then the Cabin Service Manager comes by, introduces himself and casually says that if his team doesn’t deliver the service I expect, he will give them a damn good thrashing.

Ok I might have made that part up.

If I’m honest, the actual chair in the suite is slightly flawed and the screen is placed just a whisker too high.

There is a dining table in a credenza to the right and when you are ready to eat, there is a lot of pomp and ceremony and literally 3 crew members show up to get it ready for you.

When you take off, the chair, which is on a swivel, points forward. When you are cruising, you swivel the chair towards the door, the screen is on an electric motor and you face that towards you. And then you raise the leg rest on the chair and get comfortable.

Except the leg rest doesn’t come up all the way.

I thought maybe the button was stuck.

I tried repeatedly to get comfortable.

It was like going to a strip club and then finding out the girls keep their tops on. Close. But no cigar. Not that I have ever been to a mens establishment mind you. I just read about it.

But here’s the thing and this is what sets SQ into the next universe.

SQ realized, that despite spending a bazillion dollars on the Suite, they sort of cocked it up and some really rich people were complaining.

So instead of hiring a gaggle of MBA weenies and refusing to be subjected to a 436 page powerpoint presentation, they went out and bought some decent looking footstools on Amazon and voila, problem solved.

I wasn’t sure quite what was happening because the Krug had started to kick in - but all of a sudden, there was a crew member at my door and pushing the stool under my weary feet.

I smiled and said to myself “this is why people rave about SQ”

And it is.

Attention to detail like no other.