Yep, this is precisely why I believe many of the “luxury” hotels in the US are just not luxury hotels. Nothing takes you back to reality quicker than being told “sorry, it’s not included” when you ask for something basic with breakfast that would cost the hotel about $1.50 to provide, for example. Luxury hotels should make you feel like you got more than you paid for, not less (e.g., treats left with turndown, complimentary glass of champagne on arrival, extra amuse bouche or pre-dessert in the hotel restaurant, etc).

The definition of high end luxury is absolutely the small touches to me:
- Housekeeping noticing you used all of an item and leaving double the next day
- Not having to restate all your preferences the second time you stay because the hotel noted them down
- Your order being remembered at breakfast
etc.

Above all, I’d say it’s about staff feeling like they can take initiative to make your stay better, not feeling like they have to follow rigid rules.