ratechaser I share your pain. I sometimes call my Beloved Partner-in-Life aka my husband Treebeard as I am sure that he of a line in Ents. One does not decide in haste and repent at leisure, one simply does not decide at all and when it goes wrong blame me, and when it turns out fine bask in the praise
So now I just do it and tell him later. Didn’t I tell you Dear? Oh Dear! Never mind. Carry on. Sometimes I issue ultimata but one thing I ALWAYS do is ensure that there is no Rugby and pay for it with my Amex card. I then settle the Amex from our joint account in full. I do not incur debt to add insult to injury.