Originally Posted by FlyingUnderTheRadar

I once "located" the boarding pass for the PAX I sat next to in FC. They yammered on and on on their status and how they always got FC upgrades. They had horrid BO. Would not have been so bad but they had halitosis too. Worse still they took their shoes off, their feet smelt like 1000 year old fermented cheese. And of course they put their feet up on the bulkhead wall. The final blow was their flatulence. Nearly made me barf. I finally had to ask the FA for a lime to put under my nose.

During their yammering it came out they were going to be on the same onward flight as myself. That is when I "located" their boarding pass which was for the next flight. Damn, I was going to be sitting next to them again!!. I decided that I was going to have none of it and took no chances. While the PAX was in the lav purging who knows what from their bowels I got my laptop out and with a few swift key strokes located their PNR. For their next flight I change their seat to 33E clear in the back next to the lav. Saved!!!

The epilogue was on the next flight while enjoying my PDB the PAX boarded and found someone new in their seat. The stench of the PAX was nothing compared to the stink they raised. They demanded to see the other person's boarding pass, demanded they move. The other PAX pressed the call button for the FA, who took both boarding passes and vowed to sort things out. Soon the FA returned with a new boarding pass and gave it to the PAX. The expression on their face was priceless when they realized their seat was now in the back. At that point FC was full as was the rest of the flight so the PAX had no choice but to take their newly assigned seat. Which I forgot to mention was not only in the back but also a middle seat.

As the PAX started their walk of shame. I raised my glass and smiled. As the plane taxied out, my new seat mate remarked how they could not believe they got an upgrade at the gate.

Now you all know why my location is "on the path to perdition."