The incident in Russia forever confused our bureaucrats about the difference between a coat and a shirt. The aftereffects will be felt around the country this coming winter, as the wand-wielding-whatzits who man our checkpoints trudge through ice and snow wearing only thin shirts, apparently mixed up with their winter coats.

Since the tragedy in Russia, I too have lost the ability to distinguish a coat from a shirt. Some mornings I show up wearing only a pair of pants and a parka.