United adding a benefit? Good to see some humor on this board.
But hey if we are thinking of things UA will not do, perhaps getting rid of the ultra-slim line lavs on the 737 squeezeliners,replacing the junky and horribly uncomfortable seats on Y on the A319/320. Maybe getting the A220 or similar comfortable plane to replace the huge numbers of small RJs that UA flies. Perhaps actually putting PE on the 787-9, going back to seats on wide-bodies that are not narrower than seats on the 737. Perhaps actually giving upgrades from time to time. Improving the quality of J and F food so that it is not worst in class. Ditto the wine. Perhaps authorizing line employees to fix issues. I could go on.
All I can say is that when the next downturn hits, UA will have a lot less FFers to fill its planes...