I called again today, and after confirming my account I was told visa would now allow the card for any website for 24 hours. So I went ahead and did 3 purchases from different sites that had been failing the last few days.
So I guess the only way for now is to save up purchased and call in once or twice a week and open the card for purchasing from non US sites, as 3D secure is mandatory in Europe and also common in most of Asia.

3D secure is such an annoyance ! I also tried another EU card (before calling bank of america) and I had to open the bank's app to verify the transaction, however it didn't work, no message appeared in the app.. So either what card you have it is not very smooth.