Well I can't top a fire alarm, however, there was only one working elevator in a bank of six for a eight story property. I waited 45 minutes to get an elevator to get to my room (I had a broken ankle at the time so stairs were not an option), the hotel was completely booked that weekend so they could not offer me a room on any other floor than the top floor (conveniently?) until finally the front desk clerk took me up in the service elevator. I didn't want to leave the room for fear I would never be able to get back up.
It's gotten bad, you guys. I know it was bad before, but this is apocalyptic bad. I would make the leap to any other decent hotel chain (you guys, I'm ripe for poaching just give me a decent challenge... I know you're reading these boards watching us all line up with pitchforks and bayonets, save us from ourselves!).