this is an expectations management issue.
I now fly paid J on all Int'l flights. in the past I did not. being SEMM meant I got upgraded 95% of the time on long hauls including to Europe, GRU, NRT, HKG etc. That meant a lot. also not paying co-pay.
Concierges are not your personal servants and have defined roles. They have helped me out in tight connections a few times, called me up when flights are delayed etc.