Just tell them what you are looking for with regards to points and be sure to have everything spelled out clearly in the contract. I can't recall the exact specifics now, it's been several years, but we were able to do something like you suggest for our wedding. I'm pretty sure I booked 3 rooms outside of our wedding block for myself and immediate family and was able to receive points, and stay and night credit for those. We also did a smaller dinner one evening and instead of adding that into the event/catering piece, I just made a private room reservation through the hotel restaurant and charged it to one of my rooms so I could get the extra points at least for that dinner.