In my opinion the OP started the condescending approach with this retort to the cabin crew who were just doing their job:
"I would prefer if you could leave our coats on top of our bags."
What on earth has preference got to do with it. You may be a perfect case packer. You may have placed your coats to perfection. But 99% of customers that cabin crew will deal with will not have placed items with such care. And when you refer to what you'd prefer him/her not to do, it will have just riled him/her enough to reply in the manner they did.
And incidentally hand on shoulder with kindergarten voice to me sounds more tongue in cheek than condescending.