Originally Posted by bdschobel
Nobody has ignored, as you suggest, Talkboard guidelines. Civility does not equal never ever disagreeing. You need to examine your own standards.
I'd suggest you need to examine yours as the TB Guidelines specifically prohibit the kind of conduct you've engaged in numerous times in the last year. It should be up to the rest of TB to act when it's codes of conduct are not followed.
That's a hazard we all need to consider, especially if the problem is likely to continue.
I encountered an extreme example two days ago in real life. At a store an obviously mentally ill customer was berating the check-out clerk incomprehensibly. The clerk said nothing in response, finally handing the customer the receipt saying "Have a nice day". The customer left, muttering more complaints nobody could understand.
Had the clerk engaged in any debate the argument would probably have escalated, possibly requiring summoning the police. This way the situation ended as well as it could have. It was unpleasant for the clerk and for other customers like me, but it did not become dangerous.
The point is that sometimes quietly tolerating a tense situation is actually the best you can do.
Completely agree that the reaction must not always have to be equal to or greater than the action.