An excerpt from All I Wanted Was a Singapore Sling

"Welcome Home"???
Seeing as I was in the bulkhead row, I was the first to breeze through Immigration. The Immigration agent asked me how Singapore was and I replied, "Hot!" He laughed, stamped my passport and sent me on my way.

Having all my bags on me, there was no reason to wait at baggage claim. I declare my $30 in souvenirs and the lady sends me on my way. But not so fast. Since I was the first person off of the flight, I was to be "sampled" at Customs.

It was a quiet 815a on a Sunday morning. And the customs agent asked for me to put my bags on the table. So I threw my backpack up there and he said, "This is all of your luggage?" I reply "yes sir" and nod my head. He goes through a usual set of questions, "When did you leave? Who do you work for? Who paid for the ticket? Why did you go?" I answer the last question, "For Frequent Flyer Miles" I would think being honest I'd have no problems. But he didn't like that answer. "I've been doing this for 21 years and I have never heard that reason before." At this point, my bag's contents are completely out and everywhere on the table. I had brought home some macadamia nut candy from HNL and he asks me why I didn't declare them. I replied that I was unaware that I needed to declare a product that I bought in the United States. "Where did you buy these?" he inquired. "Honolulu," I reply. "You went to Hawaii, Japan and Singapore since Thursday?" he asked. "Yes sir" I reply. At this moment he shook his head and stuffed my things back into my backpack, typed something into his computer and finally sent me on my way.