I, too, dislike talking to "account specialists" in order to close an account, so several years ago I began sending an SM (secure message) via the credit card company's webpage to close accounts.
More often that not I received a reply asking me to call their 1-800 number since they "could not close an account via SM".
I didn't believe them, so since then I have always closed accounts via SM by stating "Please close my account ending in -0000. Please note that this is 'at customer request'. I choose to close this account via this message instead of over the phone. Please reply back to me to confirm account closure." I have had no problems ever since.
Some related information and views can be found here:
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/credi...e-methods.html
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/citi-...ds-online.html