There's a reason we ordered our entire dinner from a restaurant. By the time we purchased all the ingredients to cook it, we would've spent the same amount. Turkey came partially cooked with complete instructions for finishing it, sides just had to be reheated. They even provided the chicken stock.

When we do cook a turkey, we just stuff some combination of an apple, an orange, an onion, and a head of garlic in the cavity. No brining, no basting, no stuffing butter anywhere, no bacon, no flipping the bird, etc. Always moist, always easy.