channa

Could you imagine the conversation?

Customer: Good morning, I'm calling about UA 123 on Jan 15 from Newark to London. I see there's upgrade space available, and I'm about to purchase a ticket, but I wanted to make sure nobody was waitlisted since you know, SHARES is broken, and these things don't always clear right.

Agent: SHARES is not broken, I've been with Continental for 30 years, and I don't know why people keep saying that. The system works fine.

Customer: That's nice, but could you check if there is anybody on the upgrade list?

Agent: I don't have access to do it, but I can see there is an upgrade seat if you purchase a ticket and wish to upgrade.

Customer: I can see that, but I'm trying to make sure that nobody is ahead of me so I don't jump over them because SHARES is broken.

Agent: I don't know what you're trying to do. Let me get a supervisor.

*Rhapsody in Blue*

15 minutes later...

Supv.: This is Caroline in Houston. I can't provide any information on the flight since you do not have a ticket yet.

Customer: Hang on a moment, let me make the booking real quick. I can always refund it with the 24 hour rule. Do you have half an hour to spend with me in case SHARES barfs on ticketing?

Supv.: I'm not sure what you mean about that. I've been with Continental for 31 years, and SHARES never barfs.

Customer: Ok, whatever, can you hang on while this ticket processes?

Supv.: If it's quick, maybe. *cough* Excuse me, sorry my throat is a bit parched, it's unusually dry here in Texas right now. Where did I put my "we're the best" mug of blue Kool-Aid?

Customer: You have a "We're the best" mug?

Supv.: Oh, that's from the old Continental days. They used to pay us in company scrip that we had to spend at the company store, so I was able to purchase all these great company-branded items. Apparently Illinois labor laws made them stop that when we became United, and now we have to get paid in cash. Those liberals ruined a good thing.

Customer: I see, I think it ticketed, can you check the flight now.

Supv.: Sure, what's the confirmation number?

Customer: XYZ123

Supv.: One moment, my computer is being slow.

Customer: SHARES. *giggle*

Supv.: SHARES is great, that's why we picked it over United's inferior system.

Customer: Heh. Has it loaded yet?

Supv.: One moment.

Customer: *laughs*

Supv.: I have it right here, New York to London on the 15th of January.

Customer: Newark, but close enough.

Supv.: Newark is better.

Customer: Whatever, how's the upgrade waitlist?

Supv.: Let's see...there are 2 people on the list for upgrades now. But let me go ahead and confirm you since there is 1 upgrade seat.

Customer: NO!!! That wouldn't be fair to the other customers who have been waiting for months. I'd like to waitlist instead.

Supv.: I can't waitlist you, since there is an R seat available. The only thing I can do is confirm you.

Customer: Can you process the first customer?

Supv.: No, the computer has to do that.

Customer: Then what do I do?

Supv.: If you don't want to be confirmed now, you have to wait until the first customer is processed, that may run overnight. Then you can list for it maybe tomorrow.

Customer: So now I have to monitor the flight for R space to disappear so that I can waitlist properly???

Supv.: Well, I could confirm you now, but you don't want that.

Customer: I suppose the right thing to do is to keep an eye on the flight and purchase once R goes to zero. Could you refund my ticket please?

Supv.: Sure. Please allow 7-10 days for a refund.

Customer: Thanks. You've been extremely helpful.

Supv.: That's because I'm sub-Continental. We're the best!

Customer: Bye.