Originally Posted by RJP3

I tried to use a OV at my local WM today at 6:18pm and when I got home I found that the WM POS software had not only demagnetized all the strips on every credit card in my wallet, but had also recalibrated my refrigerator's coolness setting and all my ice cream had gone melty. It screwed up the tracking on my television, and deleted all the Barenaked Ladies songs from my iPod.

It seems that The WM POS has been completely reconfigured. It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number, mix Kool-aid into your fishtank, drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

It will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of the new WM POS system, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It will move your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

The new WM POS system will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
toilet seat up. It will make a batch of meth in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

So... should I try again tomorrow?