Thank you for a very witty and entertaining read. Had me laughing out loud several times, including the vampire incident and the face contorting champagne.

I am curious at two things:

1 Why were you so angry with the lounge agent who sent you to a less favourable lounge? Was it that big a deal? Perhaps the long journey was fraying your nerves...

2 How do you know what the inside of a false leg smells like?