Ralph, I suspect that you are just a cheapskate that doesn't mind taking money from those who serve you as long as you get to save a few dollars. As you fully know, waitstaff are not paid even minimum wage as hourly pay but depend upon tips for the majority of their wages. In fact, they are automatically taxed on an imputed tip whether they receive it or not.

But if you are sincere and honestly believe that you have a right to exercise what you are calling your Dutch customs while in the US, the least you should do is to inform your server upfront about your view on tipping so that they can decide whether they want to take a chance on serving someone who may unilaterally decide to stiff them. Me, I wouldn't.