I will second most of these comments.

1) Most FHR hotels I've stayed in just give you a fixed dollar amount these days ($47, $57, whatever) so then it doesn't matter.

2) Lots of places, especially if they are buffet will either formally or informally let the little ones slip. Lots of times it's "kids under 5 eat free". We have one under 5 and one over (by a fair amount) and they'll just sort of slide the older one in.

We actually had this exact experience at the Four Seasons Seattle (which I also love). I think there it wasn't a dollar amount but they didn't charge us for the kids.

If you're friendly and warm, it will usually go a long way. The FS Seattle was, in general, very nice to our kids.