I'm assuming you're on 78, departing in about two hours? I would get to the gate as early as possible and explain to the GA about how your wife is a nervous flyer, and that you would appreciate anything s/he can do to get you guys together, even if it's aisle/middle combo.

The reason being is that I'm willing to bet that this flight is sold out/oversold in J and there may be op-ups (all J seats full, EF shows J4 F4 and 8 open seats in F, which strikes me as more than coincidence), and while I doubt it will be you, perhaps the GA will make the decisions about whom to upgrade based on who is next to you . While the AC can sometimes help with this, the GA has the final authority on op-ups and if there's a decision on whether to upgrade this EXP or that one, it could come down to which upgrade helps accommodate another pax' needs.