If you haven't seen the thread about the fact that the
West London Parliamentary Trains are to cease please go ahead and read that (even if it's just the 1st post) first. It explains what these trains are and why they are for the chop, and if you don't read it you will find the rest of this post much harder to understand. Go on we'll wait for you.........
Okay everybody back with us now? So Your friendly Mod
Jenbel and myself decided to have a 'Do' and travel on one of these very odd trains. We had a stroke of luck in that the days she was in London and my days off coincided, and we decided to do a Monday morning one. We sorted out the timings over the weekend and agreed to meet at around 9:45am at the station. On the Monday morning having had various text messages from
Jenbel detailing exactly where she was on her journey to Kensington (Olympia) we met at the Olympia Way station entrance.
We then tried to buy
Jenbel a ticket which according to National Rail Enquiries should cost £1.90 but the ticket machine was having none of it. It suggested that we spend over £5 which is a major jump in the fare and not something I was happy about. I enquired at the ticket office and we eventually decided as she had an oyster card she could just touch in and out, as she would be making onward journeys that would cause her to reach the daily fare cap. There was plenty of time to cross over the
footbridge (which TFL want to
close to non travelling passengers) to platform 3 where our phantom service was due to depart from. I say phantom because despite the service running from the station there was no mention of it on the larger electronic information display listing the next 10 services from the station, yet there is in the timetable. A train pulled in and there was a large number of people who got off, sadly this wasn't our train as this was heading on to Clapham Junction and had
lots of people on it. We were still waiting for our train and sure enough one appeared in the distance and what really confirmed this was our train is that the electronic information display said that this train was
not due to stop here. There were a few other people who were waiting on the platform and we wondered if they would be travelling with us.
The train is due to leave at 10:02 and it arrived shortly before this, again no announcements are made on the platform and if you don't know to board then you'll miss it. The train stopped and the door controls lit up so I opened the door and got on, and it was then that things went from strange
(whaddya mean you've not found anything strange about this yet) to downright bizarre. You are not encouraged to get on these trains and they do only open the doors for about 30 seconds, to a minute if you're lucky. However in this case it was more like 10 seconds which meant that
Jenbel was trapped on the platform and I was stuck on the train. We both tried hitting the button to open the doors again but the button was no longer lit and a few seconds later the display above the door said out of order. I walked a few paces and checked one of the other doors but they all said the same thing, this was not good as it may be game over before it's really started. As I headed back to our original door I remembered that these trains have a method of communicating directly with the driver.
So as I found this and was checking for the penalty for improper use the doors bleeped and then the button illuminated. I punched it and
Jenbel made it onto the train. At this point we were both laughing quite hard at how daft it all was and their attempts to keep the service unused. However we did then get other travellers board at the same time, no doubt expecting to go somewhere other than Wandsworth Road. We sat down at a set of four seats with a table in between and waited for the train to depart. Now when I've used the afternoon service a different type of train appears to the one that we found ourselves on, those trains don't have tables or first class (for the real trainspotters: a class 456 as opposed to the 377 we were on). I'd checked and despite these trains being modern they are designed for commuter services and do not have any catering (they do have a cycle policy though), so that meant providing our own. I provided refreshments for the 18 min journey and in true FT style I made sure that we wouldn't go thirsty, out of the cool bag it was chilled to perfection.
Taken at home before leaving for the station
This is a half bottle and both it and the full size are available at Selfridges on Oxford Street, I found it very drinkable at 10am. Despite it being fairly early in the morning we managed to open and start to consume the contents of the bottle. The service stopped at West Brompton and one of our fellow passengers got off but that still meant that we had two in our carriage and that's two more than normal. The platform display here said "Passing service please stand back behind the yellow line" and after leaving West Brompton we headed on to Imperial Wharf. The Train Manager made an appearance at the far end of the carriage and asked the other two where they were hoping to go and then advised them that the train didn't go to Clapham Junction. He then approached us and asked where we were going, I said Wandworth Road and he moved on. We consumed more of the bottle and managed to laugh again at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.
I pointed out various landmarks on the way and we then arrived at the newest station on the route, built to service Chelsea Harbour, the design centre and the surrounding area. It was at this point that the two at the rear of our carriage got off and someone else got on, heard the announcement of our destination and promptly got off again.
Then another announcement was made by a different voice stating that the train did not call at Clapham Junction and passengers needed to wait on the platform. The doors then closed but we didn't move instead that same voice told someone unknown to get away from the door, this was then repeated to our bemusement several times getting more urgent with every repeat.
Eventually they stopped and the train moved off crossing the Thames and then heading down towards Clapham Junction but veering off on a different line towards Latchmere No 1 Junction and somewhere called Longhedge Junction which is the parts of the line that are not served by any other revenue services. These are the parts that they are trying to close in December and there is a wait at this point that is I believe built into the schedule and we duly sat there watching the world go by.
Soon we were off again and reached our final destination of Wandsworth Road the announcement told us that this was the last stop and to please get off here. When we did so the train manager was standing on the platform at the rear of the train and we waved goodbye to him which he looked slightly confused by. It was then that we saw the reason for the announcements at Imperial Wharf, and the realisation dawned that we were not the only passengers on board this service.
A group of four stereotypical looking trainspotters were heading along the platform from the front of the train towards the footbridge to the exit.
They made by way of an explanation the comment that there should have been five of them but "someone was too slow", meaning they had held the doors hoping he* would be able to join them. The train then pulled out possibly heading to a depot or goodness knows where and we decided to do the same. On the way we passed a poster explaining that the service is under threat of extinction and how you can contribute to the consultation if you want to.
Whilst Champagne is very nice, on an empty stomach it does seem that little bit more potent so we headed to the highly recommended
Savoy Café** (come out of the station turn right walk under the railway bridge and then cross the road only when it is safe to do so) for breakfast. After lashings of jam covered toast, sausages inna bun, Coca Cola and Mineral Water (they do have ginger beer), we headed back to the station for the Midday service to London Victoria.
A very fun morning out and remember folks if you want to try this for yourselves you only have until the 8th of December 2012 to do so.
*
Okay so it could have been a woman but looking at them I would have serious doubts about it.
**
This is where they filmed the video to the song Take On Me by A-HA