Double Trouble

As I finalized all of my arrangements, I happened to notice that my seat assignment on my JFK to SFO flight was 2F ... "employee" class! I have never received a double upgrade previously but I knew enough to play this one out very carefully because it could easily be snatched away from me at any time. If reasoned that if anyone at UA noticed the mistake, I could wind up in the back of Y and have no upgrade at all. From what I could see in the schedule when I subsequently checked the flight online, the C cabin on this flight appeared to be completely full.

As I was leaving the counter, I admired the United Will Stand pin that the concierge had affixed to her lapel. I asked her where I could get one for myself and she gave it me as a gift, assuring me that she would easily be able to acquire another one for herself. With that taken care of, I exited the club, pointed myself towards the monorail and journeyed over to the Sheraton to grab a snack and get some rest.

The next morning, the Princeton Airporter showed up 25 minutes late for the scheduled 7:00AM pickup at the ground transportation level of terminal A. After they finally disgorged me at JFK terminal 7 at about 8:45AM, I tried using the Easy Check-In machine but it didn't work for me, as usual. Based on the error messages and cacophony of beeps and groans, the check-in machine seemed much more queasy than easy. In this particular instance, the problem was probably due to my last minute itinerary change but I am quite convinced that the machine hates me because I had previously made quite a few wisecracks about it.

The Line of Least Resistance

My failure to check in electronically meant that I would now need to ask a humanoid to check me in and if the agent noticed the double upgrade, I would certainly lose it! So I sought out the longest non-premier line I could find, figuring that the agents there might be more harried and inexperienced than others. Unfortunately, after waiting patiently on line for about 10 minutes, I ultimately realized that the line actually was for America West. Being such a clever fellow, I soon concluded that it would probably behoove me to abandon that line because America West's agents might be just a tad too ignorant of UA policies and procedures.

So I schlepped back to the UA check-in counter and was greeted by a slightly puzzled agent. She had earlier noticed me trying to check in with "Mr Queasy Check-in" Machine and was wondering why I had walked away. "Because you looked too competent," I said to myself. But instead, I mumbled that I hadn't noticed anyone behind the counter. After I handed over my ID, she pulled up my reservation and quickly observed that I had originally been scheduled to fly out of EWR the prior day.

United Will Stand

I didn't want her to concentrate too closely on my previous itinerary and figure out that my original booking class was in coach so I attempted to divert her attention by showing off the shiny new "United Will Stand" pin that I had appropriated from the concierge in the EWR RCC. In a sense, changing the topic of discussion is analogous to a plane dropping flares in order to divert the attention of heat seeking missiles. And dodging the upgrade-seeking missiles was of utmost importance to me right now.

So we talked about all sorts of topics, i.e. anything but my pending flight. A half hour later, she asked me whether I wished to use 500s or an HK49 to support my upgrade, which I guess must have appeared as if it was from C to F. She then apologized for taking up so much of my time and sent me on my way.

I hung out in the RCC until about 11:10, lurking in FT and wondering whether anyone at UA would detect the double upgrade in the interim. There was very little food to munch on, just a few lonely Milanos and Oreos, it was really quite pathetic, especially when compared to the EWR club, which seemed to be very well stocked with munchies throughout the day. And the free booze on the bar, something that I have been enjoying for many years, was also nowhere to be seen by the time I left the club to head for my flight.

Continued ...