If he had covered up with a blanket while doing this in the same place, what would be the charge? Absent some kind of near catch all akin to "interfering with a flight crew('s orders)" -- if the FAs even attempted to interfere in his auto-eroticism endeavor -- or "obstruction of justice" -- if he is stupid enough to have made any comment to law enforcement (other than "I want an attorney and am invoking my right to remain silent") -- what would the federal government be able to do?