Welcome to the land of the...scared and begging to be violated. You lucked out with that screener. The pre-ETD patdown sounds like one of the old, pre-NoS, patdowns. She probably could have been fired if she had been caught doing things the old way. Maybe she didn't find you sufficiently attractive to want to touch your hooha. Or maybe she was one of the few screeners with a conscience who has decided to silently object to the new genital patdowns by simply not doing them unless she was being directly watched by a supervisor. If she refused to do them while her supervisor were watching I assume she would be fired. A willingness to fondle same-sex genitals seems to be a requirement for the job now. The TSA prime directive if you will. According to some TSOs here if you aren't willing to do that you will never make it out of training. Or maybe she was like one of my ex-girlfriends who was actually repulsed by the idea of touching another woman's labia. Who knows. But for whatever reason you made it through your first TSA potential sexual experience relatively unscathed. Well except for the under-the-waistband stroking.

If I had been in that situation I might have thanked her at the end for not touching my genitals and made some comment about at least some screeners retaining a small shred of their humanity. You may have been a little hard on her considering the fact that she probably risked her job by not sexually violating you (directly touching your labia/clitoris). OTOH if she didn't want verbal abuse she could always get another job, although probably not one as highly paid. I am undecided as to whether you did or did not get your cherry popped due to the under-the-waistband feel up. I would not have consented to that. There are trains and buses to New York from LA. You may also have been able to do a 1 day layover in LA by changing your ticket with the airline and trying your luck the next day.