Originally Posted by
CO_commuter
Hello,
I apologize if this question has been answered before; a cursory search of the forums did not return the answers I'm looking for.
In an alternative to permanent relocation for work, I am considering a weekly commute from Colorado to NY, where I'd fly out for work Sunday night on the red-eye, and return home either Thursday or Friday evening.
I am looking for input from others who commute or travel 100%, and what kind of pressure this puts on oneself and their family (two young children, and a wife who works 4 days a week).
I am also looking for more tactical / logistic info, like airline preferences in terms of low base fairs, available upgrades, and FF programs, and resources for ride sharing/car pooling, if anyone has suggestions.
Many thanks,
Adam
I have done this between Washington, D.C. and Mississippi for sevent and half years and between Washington, D.C. and Newport news for one year. It puts a lot of pressures. I commuted to NNS, VA by car. I remember many incidents when my son would run along on the side walk crying "Daddy, don't leave me alone". I would stop and talk to him to comfort him. But when I would try to leave, he would cry again. It broke my heart every Sunday. My two children at that time were a five yr old and a six month old. Between MS and DCA, I flew. Flying out on Sunday nights was a sad event full of tears. Some weekends, when I could not get a cheap fare in advance, I was so determined to come home that I drive 1100 miles each way to visit my family just long enough to shower, play with the kids, eat, sleep, get up, play with the children and then get on the road to get to work Monday morning at 8:00 a.m.
It disrupts family life completely. My wife and the kids flew to be with me in MS, where I had an apartment, when they had school holidays, such as Christmas. Thanksgiving, spring break, summer vacation or other long weekends. They missed doing things with their friends, Sometimes they left DC a day or two before the break to beat the holiday rush, which they missed Christmas party, or last day at school party with their friends. They missed soccer matches, Boy Scout events. I missed their events. My children grew up without me.
I gave that job up when I became homeless after Katrina.
BY the time I came home my older son was a teenager. I missed his childhood completely My younger son asked me, "Daddy, when are you going to Mississippi?". I told him that I wasn't going back. He was sooo happy. and surprised as all he had seen in his entire life was Daddy going away and coming home periodically. "Really Daddy?", "Really really Daddy?", "Really really really Daddy?" "Really really really really Daddy?"
One stormy evening the tree in the front yard fell on the corner of our roof. I couldn't get a flight to get home right away. My wife handled everything by herself. Mowing, snow shovelling, appliance breakdowns, you name it. When I came home, on Friday nights, she would drag kids oiut of the ebd and drive with them to the airport to pick me up. During the weekenbd, it was doing my laundry and then back to the airport again. Some weekends, instead of me coming home, we all went to Europe, as Going to Europe was not that m,ich more expensive than me coming to DC. We akll became Platinums. When I look back, I am sorry that we did it this way. MY wife did not want to move to Mississippi. Even after Katrina, I hung on for 7 more months while I was homeless.
You won;t be home to hug your children every day. When they are upset, you won;t be their to comfort them. You will have very little role in their life. You won;t be there to comfort your wife when the hot water breaks down.
Even if the pay is so good that you could come home anytime even in the middle of the week, regardless of the cost, still you will miss precious days and moments with your children and your wife, when they might need you the most.
Think about it very very hard.