Well I think that all of you that thought that "screw" was being used to refer to an act of intercourse need to reprogram your one-track minds. As my DIY skills are called on only in emergencies, I was hoping that I could have a drink and also learn how to tackle my next major task of having to screw some sort of coat hook thingy to the back of a thin wooden door. Words cannot express my disappointment etc etc etc.