to follow up on my own post
after much online searching of options, I got an Alpine IDA-X305 head unit (a new 2009 model for Alpine) installed today. My first impressions are very positive, the UI for playing back iPod content works well and it works seamlessly with both my 1st generation Nano and my 3G iPhone, both for charging and playback.
I miss the lack of radio preset buttons, but I couldn't find anything with as nice an iPod interface AND radio buttons at the same time. Apparently hard buttons aren't "in" any more.
If my impressions change after more experience, I'll post another message to this thread, but so far I'd give the Alpine a definite thumbs up.
Bob