Perhaps thats why they are always so suspicious of me at PHL immigration, they ask why I am here and I say "to visit a friend" then I get
Is your friend an American citizen? "yes"
Where did you meet your friend? "on a chat group on the internet"........that one has gotten me a couple of trips to the back office,
then they always like to check my ticket, the amount of cash I have, the credit limits on my cards and what I do for a living.....eventually it dawns on them that 22 entry stamps on VWP means I must have gone home 22 times, and that I am fond of the husband, children, cats, job that I have at home so I get let in. I can see the sort of thing the OP describes happening based on my experiences which I find just irritating, must be frightening for someone not used to the little egocentricities