Originally Posted by
PTravel
I'm sorry, but if someone starts to proselytize I am not, in the least, interested in maintaining their dignity. It is rude and disrespectful and one who does so, particularly in a captive audience context such as an aircraft, deserves no consideration.
Of course, such behavior is rude. But the preferred solution to (any) rude behavior is a soft approach that might allow the other person to "save face." Perhaps, I should have used that term instead of "dignity". Yeah, I could jump down the throat of an annoying seat mate, too, but then I would have a sulky seat mate next to my for the rest of the trip.
Of course, there ARE limits and would never suggest anyone be a doormat for insufferable behavior of a seat mate. It just never hurts to try a gentle approach first. You did say to try, "I am not interested in this conversation" in your first post. I would call that gentle.
Originally Posted by
PTravel
You'll have to explain to me why you believe this particular activity deserves respect. When someone proselytizes, they are saying, in essence, "I am right and you are wrong and I'm going to tell you why." When unsolicited (and it always is), this is absolutely disrespectful of my beliefs which I regard as private and something which I do not have to justify nor want challenged.
Such activity is not worthy of respect, nor should anyone be subject to it unwillingly. I only meant the PERSON deserved respect, mostly in hope that his behavior might change for the better.
Originally Posted by
PTravel
I don't like to be put in a situation in which I have to make up lies, particularly when it is the other person who, in my opinion, is the one being rude.
I am sure you have heard of the concept of a "white lie". No one is obligated to use one. Brutally firm honesty is perfectly fine if that is one's style. Another approach is a white lie ("Sorry, I must sleep".), the point of which is to save the OTHER person from embarrassment of being told forthrightly he is an annoying pest.
Originally Posted by
PTravel
Never. Not ever! My religion is no one's business, regardless of their denomination.
That was a good story. You are talking about boundaries. I'll tell you one.
I met an executive with MX, so we are talking about a well-educated upper class person in Mexico. We were having a great conversation in the middle of a large hall, and I could not help but notice he was perfectly comfortable speaking to me about six inches off of the bow of my nose. This was after returning from Japan, where one usually stands about six feet off of a stranger.
Now this not a perfect or even a good example because one can expect different cultural norms in different countries. Maybe the Mexican executive should have made an allowance for me and stood farther back. He didn't; I did not interprets this as rudeness, but him just being himself.
I am very well acquainted with the Bible thumping mentality. I understand why the behavior is objectively disrespectful, and I would not criticize you for pushing back. However, person doing this does not think he is disrespecting you. Maybe 50 years ago, somebody would call a grown black adult man "boy". Also objectively disrespectful. But that behavior comes from ignorance. It not often possible to deter these "my way or Hell's highway" Christians. It is up to each of us to determine how much of our patience or energy is worth the effort.
Always difficult to judge the best response, and obviously each person is going to find a different balance within his comfort zone.